Mothers and Sons

Poem: "Son at Seventeen" by Francette Cerulli from The Spirits Need to Eat.

Son at Seventeen
My son, an expert by overexposure,
recognizes the song before I do,
the best one of the year
about how sex is good for everybody.
This large man who was a boy a year ago
cranks up the radio till the car
is a bulging capsule of sound,
heavy on the bass.
As he drives, he sings every word loudly,
with cellular belief.
He will have it all, give it all in his time, probably soon.
My heart begins to vibrate dangerously
at the lowest frequencies.
Tonight I feel old enough to be mother to a man.
I mime my fear to him,
My hand on my chest, my eyes wide.
I can feel it in my chest, I scream.
He stops singing long enough to nod,
Delighted that I have noticed.
It gets better, he yells.

***
Lately I've been thinking about how one's life can change according to a)if you have children, b)if you have a girl and a boy, c)if you have only girls, and d) if you have only boys.
So I will be the mother of two boys. I'll be the first female in their lives, the most important one (I like to think). While giving Luke a bath the other night I asked, "Will you let Mama pick out all your girlfriends?" He said yes. I will have to remind him of this promise one day.
I read an excerpt from the book Between Mothers and Sons yesterday and it really did something to me. I must read the whole book. Go and read their excerpt if you have a chance. Other books I want to read are on the Amazon list--Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Lives of Boys, Strong Mothers, Strong Sons: Raising the Next Generation of Men, and Speaking of Boys: Answers to the Most Asked Questions About Raising Sons.

I could try to be "profound" and write more on on this subject, I know, and hopefully I will one day...but I'm sick today. Luke seems to be getting better and my body is congested and fever-y. Fun fun! Off to watch yet another day of Noggin.