Hope's birthday is today. She is 36 years old.

She's also in the hospital, fighting for her life.

Please pray pray pray. I love you Hope.

I feel so helpless sitting here so far away from where she is. I got messages from her brother and best friend down there last night. About to call for an update.

Happy Birthday Sis

Happy birthday to my sister, Karen, who is 38 today. You're old.

So You're Saying...

I was in bed with my lil' man Luke last night at Mimi and Papa's and I was cold.
I told Luke to snuggle with me.
Luke: In a minute.
Me: OK.
(Snuggling commences and lasts for about five minutes.)
Luke: I've got to stop snuggling mom.
Me: Why?
Luke: You're hot.
Me: Oh.
(Long pause)
Luke: You are warm, like fire.
Me: Ok, baby.
(Long pause again)
Luke: You burn me.

I giggled, "Okay, baby. I get it."

Shot in the Leg and You're to Blame!

I was urinated on today.
Let me backtrack a bit.
So after a long teaching day, I picked up the boys and headed to the pediatrician office (yes the one I loathe). I had to get Jake's immunizations updated and get the all important blue card to give to the daycare. So we go and Luke is playing with this crane toy that he got from daycare for being a good boy that day.
We go in and sit and wait in the "well" area, which is a joke, of course. The biggest, slack-jawed, wouldn't know where Tuscaloosa was on a map if you asked, barely passed high school Bammer family is schwooshed in the waiting room as well. Some are wearing "their" school colors, some are just wearing their faded Disneygear and remnants of their lunch. They are also waiting to get immunization shots for their offspring. So Luke sits there and stares at the family, continuing to play with the Kung Fu Crane toy. Jake drinks his soy milk and plays with my hair and I listen to this family talk about things. Of course they discuss ("discuss") the Iron Bowl. Let me tell you something. There is nothing so irritating as listening to an eight-year-old trashy girl with food on her shirt announcing how "gross" Auburn is and how Alabama will "whoop their butt." I wanted to ask her when, in her lifetime, she had ever seen Alabama whoop Auburn's butt, but I kept my mouth shut and avoided an ass whooping from her Dorothea Lange-subject lookin' mama.
We were finally called in and we waited.
And waited.
While we waited, I was holding Jake on my lap in just his diaper (he had to be undressed). It appears that the diaper was not that secure. I felt a warm sensation on my upper right thigh. Yes. I was peed upon. I dried it off the best I could and felt my head throbbing a little bit. A headache was coming on.
The doc finally came in and he asked me if I wanted both boys to have the flu shot too.
"Tis the season."
So yes, I said. Sure. I was picturing all of us with the flu and wanted none of that.
Luke was under the impression that this was a Jake Shot Experience, not one for him.
I gently said, "Luke, come here. Listen, you are going to get a shot too..."
Watching him process this information was like watching something get poured over his head.
"NOOOOOOOO! But I'm not sick!"
He kicked the wall a few times and cried and cried. Big tears. I felt like crap.
The nurse came in and was ready to give the boys their shots.
I asked about the nasal mist flu shot for Luke.
"It's not covered by insurance."
"How much is it?"
"Runs around forty-one dollars."
"He'll just have to deal with the shot." (Har har)
So he gets the shot and then little man gets his.
Luke shouted, "BUT I'M NOT SICK!!!! I'M NOT SICK!!!!!!" the whole time. Must have been like a nightmare where you are being operated on and you are not needing an operation.
We shuffled out of the office and I head to MacDonald's for a happy meal because that was the deal I struck with Luke when he was going nutso about the shot.
Chris is driving by in his truck when I'm leaving the doctor's.
"Did you just turn right?" He asked, when we were on the phone.
"Yes." I told him of the awful trip.
We hung up.
I'm in the drive up line at McDonald's. I'm listening to "Auld Lang Syne" by Folgerberg.
He calls back, "Tune to (channel). I dedicate this to Z!" He laughs and laugh. He knows how much that irritates me.
I laugh though and we hang up again.
The next song is "Feliz Navidad." Laughing again, I call him back. He picks up laughing.
"I dedicate this to YOU!"
I notice that the gas light is on. I need gas.
Well shit.
I coast back to the house (made it!) while listening to both boys whine in the backseat.
Get in and begin laundry. The headache is back. Stronger than ever. I take two Aleves, but nothing. I retire to the bedroom and lie there in the silence (sorta) and darkness. Is this what a migraine feels like?
Chris gives me a pill and says "Night night."
This morning I realize I didn't get the blue immunization card from the doctor's office.
Well damn.

Memory Lane

Christmas Eve 1982? 1983?

We really got gussied up, didn't we? Of course, that is me with the glasses and the Pac Man shirt. I must have slept in those hard plastic rollers to get my hair to curl like that. There's Karen, my sister. If I'm not mistaken, this is the year we got the Atari.

Romeo, Juliet, Tyblet, a Ninja, and Pink Underpants

"Tyblet."----what one of my female students calls Tybalt in Romeo and Juliet. At first, it was just a slip of the tongue, but now she calls him that on purpose. It amuses the class. I told her it reminds me of corn. Some of the other kids said that it reminds them of dog food.

"Give me my long sword, ho!"

"Ho, daughter!"

---some students' favorite lines from the play

"Valid Victorian"---what one student wrote about when asked to write about something that surprised them about their parent. "At his high school graduation, my dad was valid victorian." (Do you get it?)

"Tragic Flow"---instead of tragic flaw. Romeo has a "tragic flow".

*********

We just finished Act III of the play. I'm about ready to see these two lovahs in the tomb.

***********

Speaking of lovers, Chris said this the other night while watching Entertainment Tonight (or as Max calls ET, "the news")

"Those two have HAD to made out at some point. They are just tooooo close."

Can you guess which siblings he's talking about?

***********

Luke is now a part time Ninja. That's right. He's been enrolled in a karate class at his school. He keeps talking about winning a gold medal. Today was his first day participating and he told me, when I picked him up from school, "I didn't win a gold medal."

Speaking of Luke, he was out of Pull-ups the other day. He wears them at night in case he pees during the night. Duh. So anyway, he was out and I sent Chris to Publix to buy some more. He comes back with girl Pull Ups. It had a girl on the front and a burgundy plastic cover.

"Chris." I pull (hahaha) them out of the sack.

"What?"

"These are girl pull ups."

"Aren't they all the same inside?"

"No." I pull one out. It's pink with the Little Mermaid, Cinderella, and Snow White or something on the front.

"Oh." We stare at them for a minute.

So for the past few nights, I've been dressing Luke in the dark when it's time for PJs and his pink pull ups. :)

Verb: It's what you do!

Does anyone appreciate how tough it is

going over the answers to verb practice

with 14 and 15 year olds?

Actual answers from today's grammar book:

blew

came

paid

gave

shrunk

rode

did

Chris on SaMANtha and Hannah Montana

Every time Chris sees pictures of Samantha Ronson, he shakes a little and says, "That thing gives me the willies!"

He also made me laugh when he commented that little girls dressed up like Hannah Montana (with the big blond wig) look like ET when Drew Barrymore dressed him up. We saw lots of "ETs" during Halloween and last Sunday when we passed by a Libby Lu store. (By the way, go out and buy those glitter lotions now! ALL Libby Lu stores are closing!)******

Friday from Hell

It was a rough day. This picture from the early 80s has nothing to do with today. I just found it while organizing photos the other day and it made me howl. So there you go. Me (with the plastic A hat), Karen, and Wiley (a family friend's kid) at an Atlanta Braves game. I look positively thrilled, don't I?

****

Rough day:

1. Got dressed, not looking forward to a parent teacher conference scheduled for later today.

2. Jake woke up, sicker than before (he's been sick on and off all week) so I realized I was gonna have to stay home with him and take him to the doctor, thus avoiding the parent teacher conference. I was irritated at this new development because a)I was upset that Jake was still sick because I hate it when my babies feel bad and b)I didn't want to reschedule the conference because I didn't want the parent to think I was scared or something...anyway, my kid comes first, you know?

3. So I arrange for a sub and get a doc appt for Jakers. I take Luke too because he's been a lot of fun lately and saying the funniest stuff. I miss the little dude when he's at daycare all day, anyway. So he went with me and sick Jake. We get there and wait forever. Then we get shuffled into the interior waiting room, known as the ROOM. And we wait. I had never dealt with a nebulizer before. Today Jake, Luke, and I got an education on them. Especially Jake, who screamed the whole time and looked at me and yelled, "MAMAAAAA!" I felt like shit.

4. Then they took his blood out of his finger and kept squeezing it. I wanted to yank his finger away from the lady and say, "F'n stop!"

5. After this, we took a screaming Jake to wait for half an hour or so at the x ray place down the hall so they could get an x ray of his chest. Both the boys drove me nuts in there. Jake only wanted to be held WHILE I WALKED, not while I was sitting. Luke went from chair to chair staring up at old people, showing them his cellphone (an old cellphone that I allow him to do whatever with). The old people enjoyed him, or at least pretended to. Luke almost stole some old fart's walker. Of course, Jake LOVVVVVED having his x ray taken.

6. Back to the waiting room of the other doc. Waited in there over an hour. Then they informed me that they were having computer problems and they couldn't view the x ray. (Hello? What about just the old fashioned way???) So they said "Hold on, wait a little more."

7. We waited thirty more minutes. Jake was a screaming mess and Luke was throwing his fake cellphone around the room, making me really wish I'd taken a Xanax before heading out the door.

8. I poked my head out the door. The doc saw me and said to himself, "Oh! I forgot..."

I about LOST IT. He said, "I'll go ahead and give you your prescriptions, blah blah blah. I'll call you about the x rays."

9. I was not polite to him. Don't worry, I didn't say anything, but I think my demeanor said a lot. I will not use this guy anymore. I need a new pediatrician. Besides all this, I didn't like how he looked at Luke and dealt with us in general.

10. Came home, got hit in the face with a bowl of applesauce. Evidently, Jake is not a fan.

Ojo and Family Jewels

Last night, while we are cuddling, Luke says, "I miss Ojo."

"Who's Ojo?"

"My pet monkey I had when I was a little boy."

"You never had a monkey."

"Yes I did. I gave him to Papa."

"Oh, okay...(playing along) you gave him to Papa. Did Papa let Ojo play in his backyard?"

"No. Papa killed Ojo and put him in his attic."

So, Mike, if you are reading, I'd appreciate it if you would remove the monkey carcass out of your attic. I'm sure Ojo stinks by now.

*****

I picked up Luke from daycare this afternoon and a little girl walked up to me and said, "Hey, Luke's mom."

"Yes?"

"Luke showed us his private area today."

"What?"

Luke, standing there, pipes up, "No I didn't."

"Uh huh. Him and Chase did."

The teachers didn't know anything about it, so it either didn't happen or he did it on the sly.

I'd ask my sister if she wanted to pull a "Thelma and Louise".

Today, if your day sucks, be glad you don't have this problem. I'm fascinated by these girls. Can you imagine?

Sunday

Barack Obama's family tree--from Time Magazine

I found this pretty cool. I wonder what his white ancestors (who look a whole lot like the stern faces looking out from my family's old photos) would think!

****

We went to church today to listen to cousin Keith's sermon. Assembly of God people sure like to stand and sing a lot! :) My feet hurt!

Afterwards, we all (including Keith, Lindy, and Mercy) went to the mall, ate at the food court, and shopped around. I don't think I've been to the G since summer, so it was cool. I wish they still had the pet store that I remember being there when I was in junior high.

While there, we ran into Dusty! He was just sitting there waiting for a cookie cake to be made for his wife (who finds out tomorrow what sex their baby is!). I was like, "Dusty? Is that you?"
"Oh, hi." He didn't seem surprised to see us at all. Funny world.

******

Notice anything different about Chris? I told him to shave off his goatee last Sunday just for kicks and he did. Now he's growing it back. I like this "Nick Lachey"/George Michael look. ;)

Funny man. I actually have pics of him shaving it off, step by step. I'll post them some other time though, when it's a slow Jen week. (You're thinking, "Every week is a SLOW JEN week." Aren't you? Shame on you.)

An Unusual Birthday Night

Whew. It's been a busy week. Halloween, the election, my birthday, and a two day debate tournament. Yes, friends and family, I spent my birthday sitting in a lunchroom (a very nice lunchroom with plasma TVs, but a lunchroom all the same) with my debate students, grading papers when I wasn't sitting in on some debates. I don't feel confident enough to judge just yet, and I'll be honest, that sounds like a lot of work. (Max, you understand this, right?)

I missed Chris and the boys terribly last night while sitting there (we didn't get to leave until almost midnight) so he brought the kids to me this afternoon at the tournament. It was so good to hold Jakers (and Luke, as he wanted some lap time too) and hang out with Chris, show him this whole tournament thing. (Chris wanted to start trouble---he was coaching some of my boys on how to throw a heavy book down behind a large man who had fallen asleep sitting up in a very small chair.) To quote Chris: "That chair is gonna catch some air when he falls out of it!! It's gonna go flying in the opposite direction!" Overall, Chris was kind of impressed with my students and all the other little scholars. :) At first he was all, "They want to spend their Friday night doing THIS? At their age, I was looking for some beverages." (Sorry Donna.) However, as he left the tournament he told me, "You know, I should have been doing stuff like this instead of nursing a hangover on Saturdays when I was in high school." (I'm sure he's overexaggerating, Donna and Mike. I bet he only had one or two hangovers...:)

Quotes from the tournament:

----------"Will you let my partner finish his sentence????"---an irate female debater to one of my more aggressive debaters

---------"I just saw Harry Potter."

--------"He looks like he smells."

--------Boy 1: You wanted my NEG soooo bad!

Boy 2: No I didn't! I was fine with AFF!

Boy 1: Oh yes you did. You wanted my NEG.

Oh boy! :)

Here are pics from Halloween, the Pumpkin Patch, and other fun stuff. Please go check them out.

AND thanks so much for all the sweet bday wishes! Y'all rule.

So doth youth....soooo does the fairest maid....

So we have just finished Act 1 in Romeo and Juliet and the kids are liking it. Especially the girls. (Big surprise.) After each scene, I let them watch the '68 version. Here's what we watched yesterday. The kids all laughed and laughed at the guy singing. I can't say I really blamed them. Juliet's eyes closing was a brilliant shot, eh?

If you listen to the song, you know that it's about youth fading. My rose doth fade. I'm 36 tomorrow. Oh my LORD.

My bday wish is for everyone who reads me to leave a comment and if you have never commented before, be sure to tell me how you found me. (EVERYONE comment! Make this old lady smile.)

HEY

Send me a Facebook, Myspace, or regular email if you are having trouble leaving comments.
From where I stand, it looks like there is an issue. Am I wrong?

The Day After (Alabama edition)

I wasn't prepared for the hostility between McCain supporters (both teachers and students) and the Obama supporters today at school.



"I give him a month before he's killed."---9th grade male, with glee.

"He's not the first black president. He's only half black."---black 11th grade male
Me: "So he's not black enough?"
Him: "America wouldn't elect a man as black as Charlie Murphy. It helped him that he's only half."
Me: "Who's Charlie Murphy?"

"I hope Obama doesn't win. He'll take away my insurance."--a biracial 9th grade girl THIS MORNING. ("Uh, hon. He won." "But there are still undecided states." "He won. And he's not gonna take away your insurance." "Oh, really? Cool!")

"BaaaaRock Obama."---Luke, out of nowhere. :)

One of the cool things, though, was when we were discussing the election in debate class and a black female student was telling us how incredibly awesome it was, seeing him win. She started crying from joy and said now she felt that someone could really be the President if they wanted. That just because she's a black female it wasn't impossible. Anything could happen. It made me cry a bit. I'm a softie like that.

Out Stumping for Candy

I'll put the rest of the Halloween pics up later this week, but I had to go ahead and share this one. Crazy who you meet up with while trick o' treating!

Happy Election Day!

October Pics, Part One

Pics from Dylan's early bday party earlier this month.

Halloween pics up soon.