Thus N Such on Tuesday

On phone with Mom this morning:
Jen: So I wonder what the symptoms of the swine flu are...
Mom: I guess you just feel bad.
Jen: I think that's probably how most illnesses begin.
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In library with my 9th graders. Kids on computers, etc.
One kid: Mrs. C, I can't do any research!!!
Me: Why?
One kid: All the computers are taken!!!
Me: (Looking around at all the books on the shelves...) Son, let
me show you something. There are these things called BOOKS...

The librarian liked this. :)
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Luke: Mom, did you know that dinosaurs live a long way from here? (real excited)
Me: Actually they died off a long time ago. (Always the killjoy, huh Mike?)
Luke: Huh?
Me: They died. They died a long time ago.
Luke: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww (real sad) I missed them! (Pounds his leg)

I thought that was pretty awesome.

Easter Fun...a little late! :)

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Gorilla Guy

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

See this guy all the time. Funny. Wish I had gotten a better shot of him.

Halloa, Pip. What Larks.

Don't have much to say right now. I'm tired. My left shoulder is killing me because I insist on sleeping on that shoulder, it seems. Ow. Random stuff...

"You couldn't ask for a better father."---Drew Peterson's son.

Uh, yeah you could. He killed your mom, dude.

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I'm tired of kids and excuses. Nuff said.

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Luke, after the tornado warning last weekend:

"Mom, Jesus lives in the clouds, right?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Well, which cloud?"

"I couldn't tell you baby. Somewhere up there."

"But a tornado is a cloud, right?"

I explain that a tornado is not a cloud.
"Good. Cuz I don't like tornadoes--they suck you up and you can't be around anymore!"

Literature Through Twitter

I read this today and adapted it for class. Think it will go over well?

(My edited version below.)

The Odyssey, if written through Twitter

Back Home! Who r all these random dudes?
5 minutes ago, from web

Wrecked the boat. Totaled. Everyone dead. FAIL.
Two years ago, from web

Hot singing chicks! L8TR. KTHNX
Two years ago, from web

Circe is hot. All my bros turned into pigs. LOL.
Three years ago, from web

Just saw a dude with one eye!
Four years ago, from web

THNX for the raft! Laters!
Four year ago, from web

Nice island, chick. Anyone kno how 2 get off this?
Seven years ago, from web

Calypso is HAWT. For real.
Seven years ago, from web.


Can you do better? Type up your version of The Odyssey, To Kill a Mockingbird, Animal Farm, Romeo and Juliet, or any of the short stories we have read this year. You must have at least 8 Twitter status updates.
I will display the best ones. Pts: 15 pts

Jen Notices Stuff

On the way home, saw these bumper stickers on the same car:

"For a small town, there sure are a lot of assholes."
&
"Caution: Driver No Longer Gives a Shit"

The second one was funny to me, but aren't there laws against profanity on bumper stickers? Or is that just license plates?
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Every morning, on the way to work, I am usually in a good mood. That is, until I see this advertised on a pharmacy's sign:
WE HAVE DIABETIC SHOES.

This depresses me, because hell, who wants diabeetus?

It also amuses me. So shoes can be diabetic, you say?

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Turned on the CD player when I picked up Luke from daycare. Great Expectations again.
Luke: Mom, does this show play ALL.DAY.LONG? (Exasperated tone)
Haha. The Great Expectations Show! Halloa Pip.
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Awesome article: 6 Writers Who Accidentally Crapped Out Masterpieces

Magazines, Sandwiches, and Dog

The other evening I was sitting on my made bed while Luke was in the bath (very close to me, don't worry) and I was listening to the radio and flipping through Good Housekeeping magazines that my mom had brought me during her last visit. I haven't done this in ages--haven't turned the TV off and quietly turned the pages of a "mom/wife" magazine. I used to do this---when I was in elementary and junior high. Sitting there, smelling the perfume ads and that "magazine" scent, I was taken back to my mom and dad's old bedroom on Pecan Tree Drive. These kind of magazines are so comforting--very accepting. I really need to look through more of these on a regular basis. Maybe the recipes may even look interesting to me after a while? Maybe?

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I really wish I enjoyed cooking. Or was good at it.

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At school, the students are working on a portfolio and they have to find at least four published authors to write about. Someone put this in a google search: "published authors". Had about a million search results.

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Luke: I'm sick.

Jen: Oh honey, what's wrong? (feels head)

Luke: I'm sick of sandwiches.

Jen: Oh.....Ravioli?

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If Chris turned into a dog, this is what it would look like. He agrees, by the way.

Home Alone on Monday. How Sweet it Is...

Overpraising kids a bad thing. Gee, ya think??

5 Things You'll Think Will MakeYou Happy, But Won't

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"I listened to that football guy Shinebaum a little today."---me to Chris.

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Easter pics coming soon. Today I went to the DMV to get my license renewed. FINALLY. I was the only one in there besides the lady who worked there. She took my picture and I swear, do those cameras put a double chin on everyone? Good God. I hope I don't really look like this. Had lunch with Chris at a mom and pop place and it was good. I ordered a lower calorie dish than normal, having the double chin on my mind...then off to Hobby Lobby for some browsing. Had fun joking around with Chris and admiring all the stuff there. Wish I won a shopping spree there. I love their "doo dahs". :)

OH! I also scored at the thrift store. I just love when I find a piece of clothing that I like, and then I look at the label and it's a GOOD label, not Faded Glory or something like that. :) Don't get me wrong, I have a few Faded Glory things in my closet, but I'd much rater find Old Navy, Gap, Anne Klein, Banana Republic, etc. when I look at the label. Faded Glory---what an awful name for a company. You had glory, but now it's faded. Past. You are a has been. Got a total negative connotation.

I also found lots of jeans for Luke. He wears the knees out so quickly and my patches (ha Patches!!) I've ironed on make his jeans look like he's trying out for one for Oliver! or something.

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Off to work on stuff.

Good Friday

Student: Man, that Odysseus is a beast. (in teen speak, beast=having lots of muscles)

Me: Yes, he was quite beastly.

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We passed by a spot in the road where a tree fell down in January.

Me: You remember when that tree fell down here?

Luke: Yes. Where did it go?

Me: I guess some men came and took it away.

Luke: Yeah, they are the treepickers.

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The birds around here are huge. This morning I stood watching two enormous crows stand on top of our trash bags (overstuffed trashcan) and take their time eating stuff out of it. It was like they were dishing the dirt while they ate at an all you can eat buffet. These suckers were GINORMOUS. I don't think I ever saw crows this big in "the city."

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Pic is of my dad and the kids yesterday. Dad's been in town for workstuff and it's been great. I hope that they come up here to retire.

Kindergarten

Today was an important day---I picked up Luke from preschool and gave him M&Ms and a Coke and told him, "We are going to see where you are going to kindergarten!" He smiled really big and said, "Really?" I ducked out of the school before Jake saw me. He was wandering around the playground in his Top Gun lookin' jacket. Bless his heart. Chris picked him up about an hour later. Anyhoo, so Luke and I went to pre-registration at his soon to be elementary school. This school is a feeder school for the high school where I work, so yes, he will be going to my school. This both weirds me out and makes me happy. I'm sure he'll be thrilled. :) After much going back and forth with this issue, I feel better about him going to this elementary school instead of going to the neighborhood school.

Luke was impressed with the school, particularly with the lunchroom and the stage with red curtains. That made me smile. It reminded me of my elementary school--good ole Noggin Elementary. And the smell---the smell of an elementary school is different from the smell of a high school. Much more....Elmer's Gluey. That and construction paper smell.

We walked around the building and he finally said, "Mom, can we go home now?" I didn't want to overwhelm him, but I was happy that he saw the place.
He thinks that the HBO show "Kindergarten" is filmed there. Ha.
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Random:
On the way to school this morning, a minute or so into chapter 14 of Great Expectations on the CD player, Luke asked from the backseat:
"Why is this man talking every morning?"
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That pic is one that Luke took recently. I like it.

Pasta, Books, Thomas, and Parents

It's been a great weekend. For the first time since we've lived here, we hired a babysitter to come over and watch the kids. She's a sophomore in high school and lives next door. We figured the odds of her inviting her boyfriend over with her parents watching...you know, it ain't gonna happen. Luke seemed to like her and Jake slept through the whole evening. He never even knew. :) I do believe we will use her again. This thought thrills my soul.

Chris and I went to Macaroni Grill. LOVE that place. The one in M closed down and that made me sad--I don't even remember when it was closed down or when we ate there last though. Anyway, we went there and had our favorite---Pasta Milano and the house wine. Sweetness.

Afterwards, just like we used to do in M, we walked over to Barnes and Noble and (sigh) it was just great. I got the book Look Me in the Eye, written by a guy with Aspergers Syndrome. (He is also Augusten Burroughs' brother. ) So far I like it a lot. Here's his website. Here's his mother's website. I got a Max and Ruby book for Luke and a First Words book for Jake.

Saturday, the boys and I hit the road to see Thomas the train, but more specifically, to see Cindy, who was there with her little boy. I don't remember the last time we saw each other. I got out of there after spending just seven dollars. How did that happen? :) I drove Chris's truck for the trip and it was wicked cool. Heh. When we got home, my parents were there. We spent a lot of time outside in the back yard. Jake loves playing in the rocks and dumping them in the little yellow dump truck. I love swinging in the swing and staring up at the trees that get fuller and greener every time I go out there. Today has been a mix of naps, grading, laundry, and thinking. Oh, and changing diapers. Or getting Jake out of the trash, where he found an empty pizza box.

Computer Issue---question

Can anyone help?

My school laptop went nuts the other day. I seem to have downloaded a virus or something. Anyway, the school IT guy came down and ran a scan, then "cleaned" my computer while he had it hooked up to the school internet connection (thus giving my computer a school IP address). Now that I have it home, I cannot connect to the internet using the wireless connection we have here. The computer says it's connected, but it won't let me see anything on the internet.

What happened? Can anyone help? (I'm typing this from Chris's laptop, by the way.)

Songs My Mama Taught Me

My mother is a wonderful woman. She also taught me some weirdddddddddddd songs growing up. Now I'm teaching them to my childrens. :)

Here are some of them she taught me. What songs do you remember your mom or dad teaching you? ("Catalina Madalina" is below. Mom's version was a little different, but this is what I found online.)

There was a funny girl, she had a funny name She got it from her pappy just the same, same, same.
CHORUS:Catalina Madalina, Hoopin Stina, Walla dina Oaka, Poka, Loka was her name.
She had two hairs on the top of her head
One was alive and the other was dead.
CHORUS She had two eyes in the front of her head
One was green and the other was red.
CHORUS She had two teeth in the front of her mouth
One pointed north and the other pointed south.
CHORUS Her nose was so long that when she sneezed
It got caught in between her knees.
CHORUS Her ears stuck out like the sails of a boat
Her Adam’s apple wandered up and down her throat.
CHORUS She loved to polish her fingernails She bought her polish in ten gallon pails.
CHORUS The language that she spoke was an awful joke
Her head was made out of solid oak
CHORUS Her feet were flat as bathroom mats I forgot to ask how they got like that. CHORUS A ten ton truck hit our Madalina... That was the end of that machine-a...CHORUS

Mary Mack

Miss Mary Mack Mack Mack All dressed in black, black, black With silver buttons, buttons, buttons All down her back, back, back.She asked her mother, mother, mother For 50 cents, cents, cents To see the elephants, elephants, elephantsJump over the fence, fence, fence.They jumped so high, high, high They reached the sky, sky, sky And they didn't come back, back, back'Til the 4th of July, ly, ly!

I never understood why the elephants wanted to jump the fence.

Tweeter

"I don't like it when birds....tweet."---Luke, this morning.

Who doesn't like birds tweeting??? I was dumbfounded.

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"I want to ride the stimulater!"--female student in class. She meant the flight simulator that was visiting the school. The boys had a field day with that one.
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I got behind the SLOWEST person in the history of the world this morning. It was some dude with the personalized plate of POPPETTE or something. "Come on, Popette, let's GO!"





I dedicate this song to the weather: