TV Roundup

Watching American Idol tonight...
"Simon's teeth are too white. He looks weird."--Jen
"This is like working at G*nt*r...everyone lines up...you're safe, you're safe...you're gone!"--Chris
"Man, they are gonna make her sing. So cruel."--Chris
"What's Paula doin? Humpin' the desk?"--Chris
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Caught Luke propped up on my bed the other night when he was supposed to be in his bed. He was transfixed by The Hills.
"Honey, whatcha doin'?"
"This is funny. Those girls are pretty. Like Livia."
That cracked me up. Livia is the daughter of his daycare lady. She's 18. I told her about his comment the next day.
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We've been watching a lot of House Hunters and Moving Up lately. The hostility on Moving Up cracks us up. It's funny how one family will totally undo all the great stuff a previous family worked so hard to do. Everyone thinks they have good taste...but everyone can't possibly have good taste, to paraphrase Carrie Fisher's character from When Harry Met Sally. We love DOUG from Moving Up. You can tell when he dislikes one of the couples. And what's up with the ambiguously gay duo from House Hunters the other night? They both wore mandels and were looking for a second home with two master bedrooms (they said numerous times). One totally creeped me out with his Siefried and Roy look. Shudder. Please tell me one of you saw this episode.

Speaking of the RW, I want some ideas for an updated site. Any thoughts? I'd love to get a red wheelbarrow, sit in it, and put some chickens near me, then put it up on the header, but...I don't know how to get the chickens...

Maybe it'll be all right...

Just sitting here thinking thoughts...remembered going to...was it Montgomery Ward as a kid and how much I loved playing around on the typewriters, strumming the guitars, looking at the rings in the cases thinking about one day having a wedding ring. Playing with the weird light thing with the long "hair" that changed colors when you touched it---what was that thing? It was usually next to the lava lamps. Chris just walked by and said, "That was Spencers." I know Spencers had the lava lamps and the weird hair that changed colors, but I'm pretty sure the place I'm thinking about was MW. If you are from my town, it's where FRED's is now.
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I cleaned and decluttered some more this weekend. Moved a few things from here to there, thinking, "THAT's what is keeping the house from being sold!" Of course that's dumb. The reason no one has made an offer is cuz no one has come by in the past 2 weeks...damn. So we are planning on doing an open house. Got any open house suggestions?
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There is a dead baby squirrel in the flower bed and a big dead frog on the driveway. Theo is a jerk. He's a ruthless cat. Chris, on hearing that the cat killed a baby squirrel, "That's just evil."

Luke bent down and checked out the dead frog today, saying, "Maybe it'll be all right."

It's Luke's Job---FIVE.

I was tagged to do this by Girl from the Ghetto. So here goes. Here are five things found in my purse.

A plastic Spiderman web. For all those times when you need one.

You never know when you'll be going by Office Depot and can pick up a free pack of copy paper by trading in your empty ink cartridge.
Dinosaur stickers. For entertaining your children when out in public eateries.

Cuz I'm a teacher/parent/sufferer of tooth pain.

MACE. Cuz you never know when you need to mace the hell out of some thug who wants my purse full of all these very stupid things!

I couldn't finish the assignment (more pics of five things of other stuff) but I hope this will do! :)

Speaking of ghetto...

News.

The meanie known as "Omarosa" got pinked the other day.



That's all I got today for ya.

The Girl From the Ghetto

Found a great new blog today. Check it out.

St. Joseph and The Root Canal

First, the fun stuff:

Yesterday, the lovely Mrs. S at school brought me a plastic St. Joseph to bury in my yard. Why? Have you heard the story about how burying a St. Joseph in your yard, upside down facing the street (near the for sale sign) brings a quick sale? Well, look at this, and this. And this.
So I brought it home and showed it to Chris, told him the story, and we deep sixed ole Joe.

Check back here in a few weeks. Maybe then I'll be sacrificing a goat on the backyard swing.

After performing this house selling ritual, Chris took me to Dr.K's office to have the "root canal therapy", which is funny to me---the "therapy" part. That ain't therapy. That is torture. Anyway, so I get all hooked up to the rubber mask thing with that sweet stuff, they put some kind of dental dam on my face (haha) and I fade out. That stuff is kinda scary, because you are there but you aren't, and you feel pretty out of control. I was worried I was gonna wet my pants and the doc and nurse would be all "did you check out that lady's pants?" later. :) I calmed myself throughout the majority of the procedure by stroking my hand and picturing Luke sleeping on my chest, or envisioning Jake's whole face smile. That helped a lot. Amazing how fast time flies when you are all gassed up.

When dude was working on my nerve (seriously workin' on my last nerve! ha) my vision got all wonky. I guess my body was experiencing the pain even though I couldn't really feel it? It was like flashes of light and the doc and nurse, talking to me, sounded like they were going by in a speedboat---really bizarre. For a few seconds there, I expected to be watching all this from a hovering position before I floated out into space. Craziness.

Now I get to go get a crown put on the sucker in a week. Two visits for that one. I also can't believe how expensive this toof situation is. More craziness. Do not like.

Rick is Done Talking about Rickrolling

Excuse the Fox News link, but this was just too funny to me.
In related news, when my cellphone goes off during class, kids are like, "What song is THAT?"

Blanket on the Grass Kinda Weekend

Luke took these pics of the two of us. I like how mine has Frank performing maintenance on his junk in the background. I cropped it because I had another unfortunate bra moment. (I know, that's the year's theme, isn't it?)

Good weekend. Spent a lot of it outside on a blanket under the trees, on our new grass in the backyard. The baby is good---doesn't wander off the blanket, but Luke runs around like a crazy person. Thank goodness for fences. Got a lot of grading done on the blanket. Jake only slobbered on one senior scrapbook. A little worried about the root canal, rescheduled for Tuesday afternoon. I guess I'll have to find a happy place in my head during the procedure. Heck, I handled two c-sections...a root canal can't be THAT bad, right? Anyhoo, I'm getting beautiful GAS to inhale. I lurve that stuff. Yay. We're a little bummed that the house didn't get shown at all this weekend (or week, for that matter). Also, the local paper put the wrong address under our home's pic. Nice. Should we have an infotube? What do you think?

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Chris and I went to see an afternoon showing of The Ruins Saturday They changed the ending. Hmmm...I liked the movie for the most part. HOWEVER, yes, the book was better.

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How awesome was that Rock of Love 2 Reunion? Chris says he can't help it, he loves Heather. Her confidence is pretty amazing, I have to admit.

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Funny moment: Luke plays with this Transformer Death Star toy. Presses a button. Darth's voice booms, "I find your lack of faith disturbing!"

Luke repeats, "I find your face disturbing!"

Chris Does His "Chicken Walk"

I actually filmed this weeks ago, but forgot to post.

:)

Hall of Fame Day

Today was my school's Hall of Fame day, where certain alum and former teachers are honored for their achievements. Here I am with Eric Motley, who graduated the year after I did and who went on a hysterical yearbook trip with me back in junior high (yearbook trip! nerdy fun!!!). Well, he's done quite well for himself! Anyway, he gave an awesome speech---just had the kids sooo quiet, listening to him. Stacy and her children came to hear him speak too. It was great seeing everyone. Like old home week at church!

Now if we can just sell this house...

I got the job!!!

Boy, that drive to the BOE was a long one. C@lera and Columbi@na are "God's country", no? :) I plugged my iPod in my ears and hummed to Alison Krauss as I drove along the country roads with the sunlight all dapply (I can make that word up if I wanna). Pretty peaceful. Got to the interview an hour early, so I sat in the car talking on my cellphone for a while, then reread facts about the school and system, checked the map again, drank my diet Dr. Pepper, then went in. There I sat and read my book (The Time Traveller's Wife) until my interview.

Met Chris at the Gall. for lunch. I was so relieved to see his smiling face at the elevators in the sea of strangers.

More later. I'm totally exhausted.

Everything Happenin' All At Once

Here's a tip for all you out there: don't ignore something thinking it will go away. I have to have a root canal next week. Bleh.
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Have central office interview tomorrow in B'ham. Yay!
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Have interview for junior high job in MB on Monday...not sure how I feel about that...

What a Female Teacher Never Wants to Hear

Especially from a teenage boy.
Especially while standing in the front of class.



"Mrs. C...you cold?"



Think about it for a minute if you don't get it. ARGH!!!!!!!!

Random

There is a church near my work that I see every day...they have a message on the sign that reads (or read, since it was like, last week) "GOOD NEWS! CHURCH IS OPEN BETWEEN CHRISTMAS AND EASTER!!!"
I thought that was kind of sarcastic and snotty. Is it just me? It turned me off.
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You ever, for a split second, while typing in "Toys R Us.com" think "How am I gonna type in the backwards R?"
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Saw a sticker on the back of car that said NUTBOY. What was that about?
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Allergies and a tooth missing its filling are bringing this girl down...
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I watched a little less than half of Atonement last night---poor Chris tried, but found it hard to follow. I put him out of his misery and told him we could go watch TV. I will watch the rest of it later alone. I guess I can understand that, unless you read the book, it can seem kind of boring in the beginning. So far, I'm loving the natural Briony-hate that the young actress brings to her role. Such a smug little ratface.
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Look at this picture. It's a diffuser. Tryin' to make the house smell all vanilla-y and stuff. Take a closer look. See what I see? Those are two tiny little storm troopers drowned on the bottom of the bottle. Nice. Darf has lost two little white friends...

Squash

Squash is what Jake seems to love. Finally! I figured out what non cereal food he would eat. I also read that you should dip the pacifier in the food and let him try it that way--would help with the eating motion. Believe it or not, ole chunkeroo has not been a big fan of eating food---preferring bottles to food food. But perhaps with the squash, we are onto a new phase! Yay!

Here are pictures from the momentous event.

Burnin' up 65...and Meggie News

Things went well at the interview. Don't wanna get into it yet until I know for sure...which will be in about two weeks...
I'll keep you updated. I really liked the place though. It's what I had in mind for a "until I retire" school---a "forever" home to borrow a phrase from the humane society...:)
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I'm gonna have to get used to a few things: 1. HILLS!!! (Steep inclines!)
2. Winding roads 3. Trains (all the rr tracks remind me of AU)
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Met one of the teachers at the school where I had the interview.
She and I looked at each other---"You look familiar."
Turns out, she was M@rlie's former roommate at AU. Crazy. Small world.
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Big thanks go out to Vickie and Crystal for a great lunch and great conversation that helped ease my nerves before my interview. Crystal, you have such a great laugh.

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BIG CONGRATS go out to Meg and Casey, who are expecting a baby bro or sis for Dylan! SO excited for y'all!

Substitute Teacher Drama

So yesterday I asked this substitute (picture the babysitter from The Cat in the Hat) if she could sub for me Thursday. She said she could. Luckily I didn't call in the absence and her number because, well, I'm lazy. Today (a few hours before I planned to call it in) she came in my room and mumbled something about being called to court, and if I could get a sub to cover the first two periods for her.

Me: You want me to get a sub for a sub?

Her: Yes.

Me: I'm sorry, but that is way too complicated. I just need someone to cover my classes. All of them. I'm sorry this didn't work out. I'll use you another time.

Her: But I'll lose a day's work.

Me: (Staring at her)

Her: I can't help that I was called to court.

Me: And I can't help that you were called to court. I'm sorry you have this problem to deal with Mrs S, but I just need a sub. Period. I'm gonna get someone else to cover my classes. I'm sure I'll use you another day when you are here all day.

Her: It's just two periods. This isn't fair. The (blahblahblah) Act of (blabhahamummble) says I won't get penalized for being called to court.

Me: (Staring at her) Okay...listen, I don't have time to debate this right now. If you have a problem, you need to go to the head honcho. Go talk to the administration. I'm just a teacher needing a sub. I haven't even called you in, so it is not a big deal. I'll see you. (I got up and began to teach classes. She huffed off.)

WEIRD!!!!!!!!!!!!! And K, you can probably guess who this is---the same one who was locked in the closet a few years ago.

I Got My Hair Did.

I haven't had bangs since like, tenth grade.

Houses, Jobs, Eggtoofuses, N Such

The family of three is reportedly on the fence. The husband says yes, the lady is unsure. (All this is from our agent.)

Me: I don't know why she is on the fence. This house meets all their needs.
Chris: How do you know what their needs are?
Me: I'm just sayin'.

Interview for first B'ham area school on Thursday! Pray that they drop this whole "cheer/debate" biz. :)

Yesterday on the front steps...Luke, Jake, and I are sitting there just enjoying the breeze. A bird is pecking around in the front yard.
Me: See that bird? He's using his beak to get food off the ground.
Luke: He has a sharp beak. Like an egg tooth.
Me: (taken aback, wondering where he learned about an egg tooth) Well, yeah.
(Later discovered that Noggin has a little "commercial" about chicks and eggtooths. Eggteeth?)
When Luke and I saw that commercial this morning he said, "I want a chick. I want to put it in the back yard with Frank."

Question: Dear Gentle Readers, we have three real estate business cards on the counter. Chris put OUR agent's card up there too, making it four cards. I told him we want to show that our house has been shown but not TOO much. I think people will think some thing's wrong with the house if we just PILE THEM UP. Chris thinks the more it's shown (and conveying that it's been shown a lot) will make people want to buy it because someone could come in and grab it from them. Who is right?

Yo

I want to show off three things:

1. My new shoes. I lurve them.

2. My new dress---it's brown and white polka dots.

3. My braw---nah, that was an accident.

And yes, I know I need a hair cut. Getting one on Tuesday.

My hair is so boring.

PS We had another showing today. Whoo hoo!

And...I'm sick. Stress? Staph? What the heck?

Big shout out to my MIL and FIL for coming to visit this weekend AND my darlin' friend Kristy, who is expecting a baby!!!! (I'm waiting on someone else to give me the okay to OUT her upcoming baby...you know who you are...)

And one more shout out---to TT who has been reading my blog on the sly for a while. Ha!

Weekend Roundup...Yee Haw!

Happy birthday to my niece Katie! Hope it's a great one!

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I went to the prom on Friday. It was a Paris theme. Bonjour, Shawty. Let's Walk it Out and Party Like a Rock Star.

If you want to see the class blog I set up for my students, (and the other prom pics I took) let me know and I'll email you the address.

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It's been a big weekend. My literary mag is done. I picked it up on Thursday and I'm so excited about it being sold this next week. I think it is awesome (well, of course I do). I'll scan the front when my scanner is working again.

The house has shown a total of two times this week. Our agent said that the first showing was for a woman who loves it and is rushing to get her financing ready. The other showing was yesterday. We were all sitting here visiting with Chris's mom and dad and Chris is all, "Someone is outside looking at the house...wait a minute, they are coming up the walkway." I went into "clean up in a hurry" mode even though everything was pretty much okay. Turns out, the agent called my cellphone to confirm that they were coming by and I didn't hear it ring. That's okay...I changed my cellphone to a very very LOUD ring tone last night---to Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up" so I'll be sure not to miss it again. The family of three seemed to really like the house. We huddled in the den so they could walk around and the father asked Chris lots of questions and seemed really into it...they go to church up the road and know a family across the street, the kid goes to private school----just seem like a really sweet family. They stayed outside in the front yard with their agent for what seemed like thirty minutes afterwards. I hope that's a good sign!

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I tried sushi for the first time on Friday night. But don't get too excited. I went with the Shrimp Tempura roll thingy. I don't plan to try the RAW stuff yet. :) If ever.

Went out with practically the whole science department, a very vivacious and young department. I wish I could have gone out drinking and dancing with them after the prom, but I was tired and I had two birthday parties to carry Luke to on Saturday. It's probably a good thing...last time I did that I had to get a special ed teacher to drive me home. It's weird drinking with co-workers.

Overheard...

We were discussing euthanasia in class recently, and I heard one of the students tell another one, "Like Terri Schiavo. I named my frog that we dissected in science after her."
I told her that was just WRONG.
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After we were finished with Animal Farm...one kid tells his friend, "I got a real Brokeback Barn vibe from Boxer (horse) and Benjamin (donkey). They just couldn't quit each other."
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I gave the kids an article about the dangers of drinking (because prom was last night) and one girl, while reading it, goes, "Mmmmm....vanilla shots...that sounds good."
Not exactly what I was going for with this assignment.

Big Day!

1. Had our first house showing tonight at 7:30! We took the kids and had dinner, then a quick trip to the toy store for (surprise) another Spiderman toy to celebrate SOMEONE pooping in the potty and pee peeing in the potty a lot...
2. Got an email from a principal today. Wants me to come up for an interview. Coolness. However, he needs a sponsor for two things I don't do very well. I don't know if that will be the end of it when I say I can't do those things---debate or cheerleading. Not only am I HORRIBLE at debate (I don't do confrontation on any level very well) and I will NEVER put myself through the cheerleading sponsoring again (did that in IN) but both are very time consuming (away from family stuff). Noooooooooooooooooooo. Perhaps he will like me enough to hire me just for the teaching job. :)

Quote of the night, during dinner:
While listening to John Mayer's "Waiting on the World to Change" song---
"John Mayer sounds like Tanner is singing the song while doing his
Harry Carrey impression."
HAHAHAHAAH

Oh, and check out this house for sale!

Why I Don't Live at the P.O.

Yesterday I was making copies in the library and heard a bunch of girls break out into "I'm not gonna write you a love song...cuz you need one..." They sang a bunch of it, on key, then laughed and laughed.
It made me smile.

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All the flowers and trees seem very vivid for the past few days.
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I just stood in line at the post office (gasp!) behind a million old ladies who, bless their hearts, obviously don't get to talk to many people during the day because they stood and talked to the postal worker WAY too long. I was at the P.O. because I was mailing four packets of STUFF to schools that are hiring for next year and five plain manilla envelopes carrying my resume to other places that haven't posted job openings...wish me luck.
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Took Luke to see Horton Hears a Who on Sunday afternoon. He seemed more interested in the other kids in the theater and the projector window. "I rather watch this." I don't remember reading this book when I was a kid. I was really fascinated by the movie though. Very philosophical, you know?

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There's something creepy about Steve Guttenberg (sp?) on Dancing with the Stars. What is it? And oh my GOODNESS, is Pris. Presley hard to look at or WHAT?