JENtrospective 2007

I've got to keep the tradition going. And so, here you go. And big thanks go out to my husband who got my computer working again! Love you!


January 07:
I watched really crappy TV about Dannys and Sandys, Chris had a vision, and I thought we'd be getting a Peter Tork autographed picture but it wasn't to be. We also got a Netflix account and it has been AWESOME.
February 07:
We finally got a working toilet in the guest bathroom, Britney shaved her head, Anna Nicole died, my prediction about Howard K. Stern did not come true, and Stacy had her baby.
March 07:
I got freaked out by the Alabama tornadoes and got back in touch with a friend because of it, we went to church and I felt all superior for a few days (ha), we got to see Jake for the first time via ultrasound, I lost a student, and Chris and I discussed going on The Amazing Race.
April 07:
The scary Easter Bunny brought The Sopranos back and my cousins visited for the first time in a while, my literary magazine got published, Chris got all Alec Baldwin on my ass, Luke met Thomas the Train and Sir Topham Hatt, and I was in my Anne Lamott phase.
May 07:
We saw more of Mr. Jake via 4D, spent a lot of time in B'ham, and I was nobody's fool. Chris also started his own business this month.
June 07:
I saw movies about magicians, we ran into a mysterious mammary, I was knee deep in Paris Hilton tomfoolery and Fox News while dressed as a creamsicle, The Sopranos pissed us off, Luke turned three and Spiderman danced in my house, "Mommy was in the rug" and I was totally creeped out AND I made another wrong prediction, and I have a meltdown at the doctor's office.
July 07:
John and Mary Reed have a baby, I watched a hell of a lot of TV, Dre got married, we celebrated our fourth wedding anniversary, and a baby came out of my body.
August 07:
I was in love with Percocet, Brandy and Dusty got married, Liz had her baby, "and such as", and my knee fell apart.
September 07:
I started back to work scared that I wouldn't bond with my students because I started late (so far I think I was right about this), I was diagnosed with arthritis like an old fart, I watched a goat being born, I ran a cakewalk that sucked big time, cousin Dave and his wife Traci had twin boys, and I joined up with some old friends for a concert.
October 07:
I developed a weird lisp thing, I cut my foot open with a glass I dropped and got stitches that hurt worse than the c-section experience, I was surprised by a word said in class, kids put tape over their mouths, Jake said "Boo" but hasn't done it since, Luke was a Power Ranger, Jake was a pea pod, I was a lame witch, and Chris dressed up in a vulgar costume.
November 07:
Luke became a Star Wars fan and was Pro-Darth, I turned 35, visited the neurologist and contemplated leaving my job, I got PINK EYE, I raced Meggan in a bouncy obstacle course and lost, and I took 115 kids to a movie.
December? Well you know what just happened--I won't rehash this past month. 'Cept to say I finally got a digital camera, an iPod, and a fake Tivo (aka Ti-faux). UPGRADE!!!!! Thumbs up.

Oh, and one final 2007 Luke Moment:
Today my mother and I took Luke with us to Victoria's Secret so I could spend my gift card.
Luke, upon seeing all the bras, shouted, "These are for boooooooooooooooobieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesss!!!!" (The store was packed, did I mention this?) Then he rubbed on a couple of bras and shouted again. This time he said, "Soooo sofftttt!!!"

TV and The Beatles

Watched my first recorded item from my Ti-faux. It was The Amazing Race 7 (the one with Rob and Amber). I think I'm gonna like this thing!

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Also saw a couple of "videos" from The Beatles that I had never seen (from the Help! movie and yes, I guess I live under a rock)---"Another Girl" and "You've Got To Hide Your Love Away". Both the look of the film, the clothes, the hair, and the sound seemed so modern---I couldn't believe they were the authentic deal. Oh, and I totally (at 35) finally GET why they called Paul the cute one. I never thought any of them were particularly good looking until now. Paul definitely had a cute baby face thing going.

I love the Beatles, but not in an obsessive way like some people do. When I listen to them I can remember being five or six listening to my parents' records, and I can also remember being in high school, listening to the cassettes I had. As I am figuring out my iPod stuff, I am realizing they don't have much Beatles on there. That sucks. They are comfort music for me.

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Rainy day today. A day full of laundry and closet organizing. Oh, and taking down Christmas. Boo...HEY--don't throw away those Christmas cards---here are some ideas for them. And more here.

Happy Friday!

I added a huge amount of pics to the December 07 flickr set. Go see.

Walk Hard really sucks. Don't go. We (Chris, me, Steph, and Karen) were the only people in the theatre last night. When Chris's mom called him on his cellphone he answered it.

His Mom: Where are you?

Him: At the movies. (Loud voice)

His Mom: Oh, well then I'll let you go!

Him: No it's okay. (Loud voice)

His Mom: Huh? Aren't you at the movies?

Him: Yeah, can't you hear it?

His Mom: Yeah.

Him: I'm that a hole who talks on his phone during the movies!

Happy Birthday Jasmine!

Can you find Jasmine on this page out of my junior high scrapbook? Happy 35th gal!

What is today? Thursday?

When I'm out for Christmas break, I get the days confused--do you guys? Check out Luke's favorite Santa toys---the Imaginex castle and pirate ship. He plays with them together---a weird anachronistic thing--"We made it to the castle, guys!" Pirates and castles...I guess dinosaurs, robots, and Spidermen will inhabit the castle next. I love it.

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I have to admit, the first I heard of the Bhutto assassination, I was all "Who is Butt-o?" Now, after watching the news, the name and lady is ringing a bell. A small bell, but a bell nonetheless. I don't keep up with national news the way I should. Sue me. Oh, and what's up with the "glasses on/glasses off" portaits of her at the rally? Like a before and after thing.

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Potty training is going EXTREMELY well. I finally took a page from Meg's book and just started putting his Spiderman underwear on him and he took it from there. He's had a few accidents, sure, but overall we are very happy. I love how pleased he looks when he's done with his business. I guess this was his Christmas present to us---no more diapers in the very near future. For him, anyway. We got a few more years with Jake's poop and pee...Chris---"I'm tired of smelling crap!" (He didn't say crap though. Heh.)

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I'm glad the local radio station is playing normal songs again.

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We have a lot of family in town for the holidays and we've been over at Mom and Dad's every day just about. Lots of food being consumed. If I were on Grey's Anatomy, I'd be Dr. McFatty.

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Pick Up Artist marathon is on right now on VH1. Go check it out. Oh, and did you see that Rock of Love 2 is coming on Jan. 13th? He's such a scum bucket but I'll watch.

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Chris has been quiet, reading Nikki Sixx's The Heroin Diaries. That Nikki Sixx---how is he still alive? (I thumbed through it.)

Surprise.

I know you are sick of this, but come see. Also, check out this guy.

Christmas Eve

Every Christmas season I have certain things I have to do. And by have I mean "I want to do or else I'm disappointed." These things are: 1. Sit down and write Christmas cards (add to this getting pics made or taking pics of the kids---when I was single I did a Christmas newsletter which was full of silliness. 2. Go driving around, listening to Christmas music and looking at the lights both on the poor and wealthy sides of towns. It's important to start on the rich end, so you feel okay when you head on home after viewing the po' side. (Middle class mentality. Hah.) This year I haven't gotten to do this---oh well. Maybe tonight? 3. Bake Christmas cookies. I did this yesterday! I think they turned out rather well. They got a 8 out of a possible 10 I think. I get a little better every year. By the time the kids are 30, they will be spectacular. Yesterday was particularly enjoyable because while I used the cookie cutters, baked the cookies, etc., I listened to Christmas music and Jake slept in his swing near the Christmas tree. It was very peaceful. 4. Ride the train at the zoo and look at the Christmas lights. This we did last night. It was a really cool, cozy family time with Chris and the boys. Although our seats kind of sucked. There was a group of people caroling and it was really beautiful. 5. Get the kid(s) pics made with Santa Claus. I don't know why this is such a big deal to me. We didn't get this done every year when I was a kid. To skip this would leave a smudge on Christmas, to me...6. Catch all the Christmas TV specials I can. We got to watch lots of Charlie Brown specials, Rudolph, etc. this year. I was glad Luke showed an interest in them. Now, if they would only have "A Very Special Spiderman Christmas"...

I've added another one this year---make Christmas ornaments with the boys. This year Meg and I made "clothespin reindeer" ornaments with the boys. The boys didn't do much but make a mess while she and I did them, but next year maybe they can do more.

What are the MUST DO things you do during Christmas time? What should I add to my list?

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In non-holiday news, I saw the trailer for THE RUINS last night. I was so excited---I kept yelling, "YES!" and "SWEET!!!" the whole time. Chris was putting a log on the fire and was like, "What are you yelling about?" (Remember the book I read this time last year?)

The Amazing Race was pretty good last night. I really love this show... We root for TK and Rachel because they are so calm and never yell at each other. The calmness may be cuz they look like stoners. We hate the couple that fights (mainly we hate her--Jennifer), and I loathe the father of the father and daughter team. His "Who's Your Daddy" shirts really irritate me. I can just see him ironing on the letters on every friggin' shirt in his wardrobe. He's so mean to his daughter too. She needs to kick him in the butt. The "DATING GOTHS" amuse us. Chris always says, "Who do you think is more upset---his father or her father?" My vote is his father, because she can always grow out of this phase and choose a normal mate one day.

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Back to Christmas stuff---check out these groups on Flickr:

Santa--the Man with the Bag

Christmas Kitsch

Creepy Christmas

Creepy Santa Claus (Not appropriate for kids to see.)

The Claus Cause (Kids with Santa through the ages)

Santa and Me (More of the same)

On Santa's Lap (And more...)

AND...check out my pics from December so far here and the Santa pics from family here.

"It was the night before Christmas and all through the house..."

Have a great Christmas!!!!!

Ho Ho Ho

The annual Santa pic. This is the latest I've been with it yet. Luke refused to smile until an elf pretended to tickle Mama. Luckily the elf was a former student of Mama's and it made it less weird. Or more weird. However you wanna look at it.

Harold and the Deer and Other Christmas Stuff

My dad found this Christmas card. Take a look at the baby Jesus. Uh, looks really familiar, huh? At least we think so. Strange!!!
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Speaking of my father...the man loves yard work and also loves Christmas. When it's Christmastime, he goes all out, putting lights up (tastefully, not like Clark Griswald) and putting his deer out on the front lawn. You've seen those deer--the ones with the white lights, white frame. One of them moves its head to and fro. Well, two nights ago some teens (we hypothesize) put his deer in compromising positions. He was upset. He told me and Chris about it over lunch and for a second I thought he thought we did it. We told him we didn't, but last year we had wanted to STEAL his deer, put them in our yard and wait for him to complain that his deer had been stolen and then drive up to see that we had coincidentally gotten some deer just like his old ones. Ha ha. This is second on Chris's deer wish list---his number one wish is to steal the E@stchase deer (it's only about two hundred feet high) and put it in the front yard. Yeah, no one would notice that. Oh, Chris wanted me to add that one year, the antlers on one of Dad's deer went out and it looked like a Christmas dog in the front yard. "Like a greyhound."
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Have you heard of the Elf on the Shelf? Like the hippo song, it's all the rage 'round here. I didn't get one this year (as I just heard about it this week) but I will definitely get one next year. Some people think the idea is creepy (the elf moving around the house) but I think it's awesome. Wish I'd thought of this idea. Talk about a money maker. They can't keep them "on the shelf" (heh) around here.
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Starbucks' Peppermint Mocha is heavenly. That is all.

To Play With and Enjoy

I don't know if it's being played to death over where you live, but over here in the heart of Alabama, the local radio station is playing "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas" like it's going out of style. Chris hasn't been able to sleep because it's been tormenting him. He says, "I couldn't sleep for two days because it's attached itself to my brain. I hate that stupid song. It makes me want to commit a felony. When the horns start blowing, I just think about the munchkins dancing around like it's from The Wizard of Oz. It's terrifying."

We both agree that the following phrases are strange and make us go, "ew":
When she talks about her "hippo hero standing there" and how she wants to "play with and enjoy" her hippo and give him "his massage".

Thoughts? Here's the song's background. Now you know the rest of the story.

Makes me say, oh my Lord!

Can you tell it's finals week? :)

I'm catching up on blogs, Chris is watching The Thomas Crowne Affair and from the darkness of Luke's room, we hear "Can't Touch This!" Luke has gotten a hold of a birthday card that Chris got--it plays MC Hammer when you open it.

Off to make him cut it out...

Ding Dong Ding Dong

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KRISTY!!!! I MISS YOU!!!!

Happy Belated Birthday to Crystal!!!

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It's probably good that I didn't have any girls.

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I used to really hate the Wings' song "A Wonderful Christmas Time" but now I imagine it coming on the radio tormenting Heather Mills and it makes me smile. Really, Paul, what were you thinking? Nevermind, I know what you were thinking.


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Kudos go out to Nabisco for their new Oreo opener/closer. My husband thanks you too (cuz I was a bad Oreo package closer.)

LMN

I escaped from the noise in the manroom to our bedroom tonight and got sucked into a Lifetime movie. It was deliciously bad. Of course it was--they all are.

This one was called In My Sister's Shadow with Nancy McKeon and Janet Leigh. Hysterical. Check it out on Youtube. You can watch the WHOLE thing on there in seven parts. Here's the first part.

In other news, I proofread a student's letter to a judge, asking for clemency for her baby daddy. This baby daddy is one of the students I taught last year who decided to stop by the ATM and uh, rob people as THEY stopped by the ATM.

Happy 33rd Bday!

To my fantastic husband, Chris! Every day is an adventure.

Why We're Weird

Our friend Jamie tagged me to write 5 reasons I'm weird. Chris said, "Why don't I write why you are weird and you write why I'm weird?" So we did, during commercial breaks for The Amazing Race. We would write something and giggle and show the other one and laugh some more. Here's what we wrote.

First, why Chris is Weird, According to Jen:
1. It takes Chris thirty minutes to assemble a sandwich.
2. He can't have any food touching another food item on his plate.
3. He has to have the bed perfectly made, tucked in everywhere and even before he gets in bed at night, he frequently irritates me by doing this while I'm already nestled in my spot.
4. He wears the joke t-shirt I bought him ("CLEVELAND STEAMERS #2) in PUBLIC.
5. He walks around the house brushing his teeth at night. Usually he leaves his toothbrush near the kitchen sink. I don't get that at all.

Why Jen is Weird, According to Chris:
1. Can't leave the house without a softdrink filled to the top of the glass. It sloshes around in the car because she usually does not drink any of it.
2. She'll absolutely WRECK the house and mention to me that I should cut the grass. "It looks bad," she says.
3. She cannot move in the bed without completely disrupting the bedspread, sheets, and blankets. If she so much as turns over, I am completely stripped of the covers.
4. She moves things from a perfectly good spot (matches, hair brushes, utensils, etc.) to another spot for no good reason other than to drive me insane looking for something. "It goes in this drawer now," she says.
5. She'll spill something and not thoroughly clean it up. "There's a stain over on the other side of the room also," she reasons.

A Few Quick Things

Luke calls Target the "ball" store. Heh.

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He made a fort this morning and I said, "Oh look, you made a fort!"

He said, "I'm not eating!"

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Any of you work with people with English degrees and you aren't a teacher? I want to know my options. I go through this every few years or so, and I'm feeling realllllll burned out. It made my heart happy to browse through Monster.com today looking in the B'ham area (and no I'm not talking about the INNER CITY area---I have had enough of g@ngsta crap for a good while. )We are thinking of a move and I couldn't be more excited about getting out of this place. I hope it comes through--the move idea.

Saturday Mornin' Chat

New site for you to check out: Work it, Mom!
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Any locals see the following?
1. The "You Blew It, Santa" digital TV spot? I love it. Makes me laugh the way the elf delivers his lines. Most local spots are horrible, but this was perfect.
2. The "untea" who was talking about her nephew's shooting for drug dealing on the local news? She said something like, "Well, I knew he was dealing drugs but everyone's got to make a living."
PS LADY: YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM!!!!!
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Journal topic yesterday was: All I want for Christmas is...
One of my male students wrote about how he wanted a hunting rifle or something like that in his journal, then he turned it in. I wrote, "You'll shoot your eye out!" Hehe.
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Let's talk about my boys. I don't write about them as much as I probably should. I just am totally in love with them. I feel such a surge of love and protectiveness when I'm with them, especially in public---I don't want anyone to breathe on them, or hurt them or look at them wrong. My heart swells when I'm watching Luke drag a chair up to the Christmas tree and pick his favorite ornament off the tree, or when he's playing with his little action figures and talks to himself as the different characters--playacting and all that. Or when Jake laughs at me when I yank back the shower curtain to say, "Hey Jakers!" as he sits in his bouncy seat and watches for me to check on him again. I love being a mom. I'm so glad I got the chance to be a momma and I hope I am good at it and that I don't fail them.

Try it!

On Monday morning, on my way to work, I got a good laugh at the sign in front of Krystal's. It was supposed to say "TRY OUR BLACK ANGUS" but someone had removed the G.
On Tuesday it was still there. I couldn't believe it---I almost had a wreck looking at it.
Today? Fixed. Darn. Wish I had gotten a picture of it.
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Ever try not to think about something and you get busy doing something and you suddenly think, "Look I'm busy! I'm having fun! I'm not thinking about it!" then of course you are thinking about it and you're screwed? Yeah. (Re: Work stress)
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There is a lady who sits near me at lunch who sits too close and talks OVER my tray. I've gotten so sick of it that I've stopped going to lunch. It grosses me out.
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First round of Christmas cards went out today. Second round will go out later this week. It's hard getting cards done with two kids! :)

Grandmother at 29

Did you see this? Makes me really irritated and sad at the same time.

Messages, Wal-Mart, and Family Picture

If you are a fan of Conan O'Brien, check this out. Kinda interesting, especially with the strike going on.
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I let Luke record our outgoing message on the answering machine on Friday. Ever notice how friends and family don't really use that anymore? They head straight for the cellphone and don't leave messages at home. Kind of sad to me---I remember in college how I loved changing up my outgoing message. My favorite was when I just recorded my favorite parts from Tom Jones' "Help Yourself". My mother never liked that one. Anyway, so I let Luke record a message. He says, "Hey! Leave a message!" And ever since Friday, he's been going up to the machine and hitting PLAY, listening to himself saying "Hey! Leave a message!" He came up to me and told me "I turned myself on!" Hmph. Here's a treat for you, speaking of Tom Jones.
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Yesterday I took Luke to Wal-mart with me. I prepared myself for a variety of things that would probably happen to me while I was there---you know, the usual crap---so I wouldn't let my blood pressure go up. I didn't prepare myself for the three things that did happen.

1. Santa was there. Completely freaked Luke out, but in a good way. He went up to him and got a candy cane but couldn't speak. He later asked me, "Why is Santa HERE?"

2. In the check out lane, some older black lady kept pressing her body into mine and Luke's space (totally invading our personal space). I couldn't figure out what her deal was---was she trying to touch Luke, take my purse, or was she just crazy? I moved us as far as possible from her and gave her the look (what's your deal?) but she never got the hint. She was so close to us that the cashier thought we were all together. Weird, huh? And yes, she was talking to us, talking to Luke, etc. But the whole thing weirded me out. I was glad to get out of there, which leads to number three on the list:

3. Got stuck pushing my cart behind White Trash Family. They spread out and wouldn't let me pass and of course they were going soooo slow. I held back a little, not wanting anyone to think I was with them. And of course they were parked pretty much right where I was. I tried to pass them, but to no avail. And they seemed to think I was in their way. This, I gathered from the Pa's face. Anyway...I smiled, said, "Excuse me" and got the hell out of Dodge.
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We took family pictures last night. The first family picture we (Chris, me, Luke, Jake) have ever taken. It was stressful getting ready, it was stressful waiting for our turn (PI was totally running behind---30 to 45 minutes behind!) and then...Luke showed his ass. He fake smiled, turned his head, wouldn't listen to direction, basically---he acted like a three-year-old. Then he was supposed to hold the baby in his lap but let him fall down. That was it for me. I said, "We are done! We'll pick from the few shots we've taken." I just wanted OUT OF THERE. I was so irritated that all my work in picking out the clothes, arranging for the photo shoot, etc. was for this. Ugh! We picked out one shot that wasn't too bad---true, Luke has his fake cheese smile going on, but whatever. We slapped it together with a Christmas card decoration, they printed them out, and we were done. So, if you are on the list, you'll get to see the picture. I won't ruin your surprise (I know you are anxiously awaiting it...ha) by posting it here.

Top 50 Dumbest People in Hollywood. I'm glad Spencer P is high on there. I hate him!

Here's to a quiet, laid back Sunday...