2013 is trotting into our lives, like a lil' puppy dog with a chew toy. Like Anderson Pooper, in fact. Let's review what I, and the people in my life, predict for this approaching, hairy, poopin' year. Unless there is a name in parenthesis, it's the work of me, your host.
1. A book with a peacock on the front cover will be a best seller.
2. Bin Laden will be alive and well and we will discover that his death was a huge hoax. (Dad)
3. North Korea will fire two missiles at South Korea. Bloodshed.
4. UFOs will be seen in Oregon, Michigan, and Maine. The same UFOs will be seen in Portugal, India, and France.
5. On the 50th anniversary of the JFK assassination, we will be shown new photos that will shock us all.
6. Saban will leave Alabama. (Dad)
7. The world will realize that Rihanna can't sing and she will die in a car crash. (Chris)
8. Chris Brown will be the reason for the car crash. (Jen)
9. Deadlist: Nelson Mandela, Bush Senior, Barbara Bush, Hilary Clinton, Warren Jeffs (who will create a Jonestown nightmare before he dies with his followers), Hefner will die next to a hot blonde. Tanner feels that Billy Graham will die at home peacefully.
10. A song about a dog will be a hit and a dance craze will be part of its popularity.
11. Kate Middleton will have a baby boy, an underweight child who will be named George.
12. The Mars robot thing will roll upon something that will chill us all to the bone.
13. A "family friendly" actor will be involved in a 50 Shades of Grey type of situation. Shame will follow.
14. A common pill taken by millions will have unusual side effects. Lawsuits will rain down.
15. Lisa L.M. will run for a Senate seat, even if it's not an election year.
16. The teabagger or the teabagee will write a short book about the situation. No one will buy it.
17. Fergie will get pregnant.
18. Christine, the musical, will have audiences cheering.
19. I keep seeing and hearing the word PEACHES. It's all hazy and floaty. I'm not sure what to make of it.
20. A second Mayan Calendar will be discovered. (Dad)
21. The Skylab will fall into the waters near the Bermuda Triangle and will create a tidal wave. (Dad)
22. Obama flees to Mexico--(Luke)
23. Dr. Phil gets divorced. (Tanner)
24. A new manned mission to the moon or Mars is announced by NASA. (Tanner)
25 .Justin Beiber gets his first DUI. (Tanner)
26. Taylor Swift gets married after a very short courtship. (Tanner)
27. American Idol is cancelled after lack luster reviews and scandal are revealed. (Tanner)
28. President Obama finds himself in a political scandal nobody saw coming. (Tanner)
29. An American Idol winner of years past is busted for drug possession. (Tanner)
30. A major bomb/explosion in the Middle East redefines everything we know and how we treat the region. (Tanner)
31. Matt Lauer begins a failed day time talk show. (Tanner)
32. Casey Anthony will be beaten up after a group of people recognize her in a bar.
33. When Hilary Clinton dies, Monica Lewinsky will reappear for interviews.
34. Eminem will be in the car with Rihanna when she crashes in a fiery explosion. (Chris)
