Squirrelly.

Happy New Year.

An Evening with Truh and Shirley

Yesterday I finally caught up with some friends from college. Tre (Max coined the nickname "truh") and I are both English teachers and were at Auburn at the same time. Shelley (nickname: Shirley, I think because Cooper aka Kevin thought that was her name) was his adorable girlfriend at the time, now, of course, is his wife and a friend as well. The last time we saw each other was at a Halloween party in 1999, right before they started babies and I started...crazy. I moved to IN and lost touch with quite a few people and then couldn't locate them when I wanted to again. (Pre-Facebook!) This past summer, on yes, Facebook, we located each other and realized that we were both moving to the same area! How is that for coolness? And we are all teacher people. And they have kids. (I can't believe that the baby I saw in '99 is the nine-year-old I saw last night. Time goes by so fast.) We spent the evening trying to catch up on everything since '99, looking at old pictures, talking Auburn football, and playing with the remote control dinosaur.

Here are some pics of Luke playing with their son, Christopher. I couldn't believe how well they got along---Christopher is two years older, and what a cutie pie. Look at that red hair.

It's that time of year: JENtrospective 2008

Here's last year's, if you care to recap.

And the year before.

Drum roll please. 2008.

January 2008:I watched The Hills, got Rickrolled, realized how disturbing fairy tales are, and had a foot sandwich. I let you all in on the secret of the teacher's lounge/bathroom/restaurant. Luke exposed himself, then went to a Monster Truck thing with his father, then enjoyed snow.
Finally, Chris kicked it old skool.

February 2008:I got political. My nasal passages were assaulted. A duck showed up, out of nowhere. I learned how to tell if a kid comes from a meth home. I "came to live with you and be your shawty".

March 2008: I had a huge yard sale to benefit my literary magazine and it was a huge success. Someone wrote something odd on my car. I could have been killed by a deranged student. I bowled. Kinda. And Tanner explained how one asks for the "salad". We decided to move to B'ham. We had a blah Easter; we worked on the yard and getting the house ready for selling.

April 2008: I went to prom and tried sushi for the first time. I got a new 'do. I had substitute teacher drama. Had interview at job where I am now! Jake ate. I made two good points in class. I had a root canal and buried a St. Joseph in our yard.

May 2008: I was aghast at this sign. I finished The Time Traveller's Wife. I met Thing One and Thing Two. I left LHS. I sang about "subtle whoring" and made you sing too. We headed to Taos, NM.

June 2008: Luke finally got potty trained. We thought we were going to live in this house. I learned how to cheat CVS and we met up with Thing One and Thing Two again. I took Yvette and Jas to a naughty store. Luke went to the dentist for the first time. I learned of Hope's new battle. Luke turned four. We emptied out our house and I talked my way out of a ticket. Chris denied being a junk dealer and we had problems with our first home choice. We found a BETTER house the next week but were in house purgatory for a little bit.

July 2008: I had a panic attack. I hung out in Decatur and bothered my in laws. We fished. We finally got house keys in our grubby little hands. Smokey C's opened, Keith kept our dog, and Luke started telling stories... I was asked about ho's, Luke reunited with Mercy, it was Jake's first bday and a terrific lady passed away unexpectedly.

August 2008: We celebrated Jake's birthday late. I was really proud of my new job. And I was hella busy.

September 2008: Luke tells Chris how it is. Frank takes a lover and I lose my voice. It was all mockingbird, all the time for a while there. This made me laff and laff. Jake bit a "friend." I went to my first debate tournament. My boyfriend, Paul Newman, passed away. Kristy had her baby!

October 2008: Some dude was playing basketball in our driveway. I went to football games and festivals. I loved HOLE IN THE WALL. I went to Sloss Furnace and didn't get scared at all. I walked on sunshine.

November 2008: Luke met Obama. Kinda. I was surprised at the hatred after the Obama campaign. I turned 36. And spent my birthday night in a lunchroom with teens. We visited Keith and Lindy's church and ran into Dusty at the mall. I learn about Ojo and Luke exposes himself again. I had a day from hell. And another one. And Hope re enters the hospital on her 36th bday.

December 2008: Has been awful, as you know. I'm losing my friend.

Hope

Hope's husband has updated the blog.



If everything comes down to love
Then just what am I afraid of
When I call out Your name
Something inside awakes in my soul
How quickly I forget I’m Yours
Refrain:I’m not my own
I’ve been carried by You
All my life
Chorus:Everything rides on hope now
Everything rides on faith somehow
When the world has broken me down
Your love sets me free
When my life is like a storm
Rising waters all I want is the shore
You say I’ll be ok and
Make it through the rain
You are my shelter from the storm
I’m not my own
I’ve been carried by You
All my life
Everything rides on hope now
Everything rides on faith somehow
When the world has broken me down
Your love sets me free
You’ve become my hearts desire
I will sing Your praises higher
Cause Your love sets me free
Your love sets me free
Your love sets me free

MORE video to bore you.

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Don't feel bad, Donna. I'm not in any of it either. Sigh.

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

My first attempt at OnetrueMedia and using clips from my Flipcamera that Santa brought me. I know the thing with Chris and Casey isn't in the spirit of the clip, but it's just so...them. :)

Lil' Big Wheel

Uncle Max Came to Visit!

Max was up here for family Christmas and he dropped by the C casa. Luke took this pic. Big thanks go out to "Uncle" Max who brought Momma some Crown Royal AND some wine.

Track Santa here.

Steadfast God,

as we experience a season of change in our life

a time of hellos and goodbyes,

a time of questioning,

a time of sacrifice,

allow us to move

through each season

assured of your love

and strengthened in faith.
Amen.
- Melissa Tidwell

Prayers for Courage

Pics of Grinch and Santa

The Grinch came to Luke's school. Can you find Luke? I love his "out of it" expression.

Santa came that same week. Here are the boys with ole Saint Nick.

Christmas Grammar (and life) Lesson!

Remember that your family is not the Duggar's. It should be Duggars.

And also, if you are Jim Bob Boy Howdy or Michelle "Uterus of Steel" Duggar, you are totally insane. And kinda gross. Merry Christmas! And good luck when you are pregnant again in a few weeks.

Close Encounters

I know I'm a little behind, but this afternoon I finally saw...

Close Encounters of the Third Kind.


Chris couldn't believe I had never seen it before, so he made me Netflix it and so...we watched it.
A few observations:
1. Terri Garr and Richard Dreyfus were young, y'all! :)
2. It was nice recognizing all those late seventies things--the playpen, the wallpaper, the dishware, the old MacDonalds...
3. The Melinda Dillon character really should have had her kid taken away from her by DHR, not by the aliens. She really never kept an eye on him...she did however, keep his bedroom window wide open with no screen, kept the front door wide open in the middle of the night, didn't hold his hand like...Ever, almost got him killed by Richard's truck and so on.
4. Wow. The aliens looked a lot like E.T.

I didn't know that much of the movie is filmed in Bay Minette, AL and Mobile, AL. Cool.

Made me want to research more about the Bermuda Triangle.

Have a Gay Ole Time

Boy 1: "Dude, somebody wrote is gay on my notebook. Under my name." (Seems really dejected.)
Me, from my desk: "I'm sure they mean you are a happy person."
Boy 2: "Somebody wrote is really gay under my name."
I laughed.
****
Nothing is more awkward and kinda sweet than watching two teens attempt to hug eachother in front of the watchful eye of the teachers in the hallway.
*****
"Movies aren't any fun if you can't hear them."---me to class, while Elf was playing and some kids were talking. This cracked up the other teacher in the room. And by the way, Elf is some funny shit. I forgot how funny it was.

Speaking of Christmas movies, I hate The Polar Express. A really creepy movie. A really creepy Christmas movie as well. Dead eyes. And that main character looks just like the little shit who was the oldest son on Terms of Endearment, Tommy. If you recall, Tommy was a turd so I don't particularly care about this character on TPE.

Another creepy Christmas thing is The Nutcracker. A big scary mouse king dancing out of shadows, toys coming alive...NIGHTMARE!

What other Christmas "staples" make you cringe?

In Junior High I Thought This was a German Song. Yeah.

I heard this three times today. It's so bad it's awesome.

Mondays Suck.

Rainy blah day. I have a headache, Chris is sick, baby Jake is pooping like it's going out of style, and Luke got another Oops note (two days in a row). I'm going to bed early.

One cute thing:
While we were eating dinner at the breakfast bar tonight, Luke was rubbing my foot with his foot.
Him: Know why I'm rubbing your foot?
Me: Why?
Him: Cuz I love you.

:)

We were busy today.

Ann Marie's Hope update with pic
and Jake updated Hope's blog too.

Disjointed Rambles (and Parenthesisapalooza)

Yesterday Uncle Tan Tan (aka Tanner) came over in the morning with a steaming cup of Starbucks to help us out. We needed a babysitter desperately---needed some couple time, needed some retail therapy (even if it was for other people---our kids, mainly), needed some Christmas cheer...thank you Tanner. SO MUCH.
We told him we'd be gone a couple of hours and it turned into FOUR. Sorry, dude.
(We'll probably never get him back over here again...) While out, we enjoyed the Galleria, and some people watching. Chris liked making fun of the faces of the men leaving the jewelry stores: "That dude's face looked PAINED." (Noticing he was carrying a little jewelry bag.) We sat down at the fancy Ruby Tuesday's (nothing but the best, people). While there, I got the waitress to bring Chris a little birthday surprise treat since I dropped the ball this year (been so busy and preoccupied). He liked his treat. We also partook of some sangrias. Sweet.

Chris made me laff and laff with his impression of Linkin Park's two singers...
"I HATE MYSELF....MY LIFE IS CRAP....JUST KILL ME NOW...." he shouted over the beginning of their latest song on the radio. "Now here comes the sweet sounding guy..."
I guess you had to be there.


Chris and Tanner headed back out to Christmas shop, leaving me and the boys to do stuff.

I made brownies. This time they didn't suck. I didn't screw them up. Luke and I watched You Don't Mess with the Zohan (or at least the first half---what an awful awful movie. Surprise! What a shocker.)

Luke sang "Rudolph the Window Reindeer" (????) to me.

Jake has a bad butt rash. Butt paste to the rescue.

Our lighted deer have made it halfway to the front lawn and both neighbors have nativity scenes out. We look like Scrooges with our tired wreath (I don't fluff it out as much as I should) and our catdish of leaves and water (thanks for reminding me, Tanner!). :)

I have half of the Christmas cards sent.

I thought that governor was trying to sell Barack Obama's chair that he sat in on Ebay. I am a moron. I need to listen carefully. I'm the debate coach? Really? :)

"This is the one about the ugly girl who got pushed off the mountain."---me to Chris while watching the second half of 48 Hours Investigation, our favorite Saturday night TV show.

I need a drink.

Happy Birthday

To Crystal!

2 New Christmas Favorites?

Overheard Luke singing:

"I want to wish you a doo doo Christmas...from the bottom of my hearttttttt..."

And he referred to the "buttcracker."

Nice.

Happy Birthday to Chris

Happy birthday to my honey.

This is a pic from our dating days. Dec. 02

Two Nights of Decorating & Too Much Work to Do...

Welcome Baby Deacon!

Congrats to Meggan, Casey, and Dylan on their new arrival!!!

Deacon Reid, 8 pds 9 ounces.

Yay!!

The Walmart Santa is Buddy.

I took Luke with me last week to get a treestand (what's up with all the plastic ones??) and we ran across this guy. Luke was speechless, but I know he was thinking, "This guy is...creepy. And buddy."

***I finally found my camera upload cable. Go me.

Monday afternoon

Hey. Sitting here next to Hope's bedside. She's wearing some real sweet pajamas with little Valentine hearts on them. She's getting some rest after getting a good shower this morning courtesy of Cheryl and Ann Marie. I leave in a few hours. The hospital room is so quiet. There's the a/c hum and the whoosh sound of the trach thing going. The rest of the world is out and about and doing their thing. It's a pretty day outside. I told Hope that Chris is gonna make fun of me because I was the first person to ask if she wanted to watch TV. :) She wrote down to Jake, "Make sure Jen knows how to work the remote" before she drifted off to sleep. Yesterday a dude was playing violin a few rooms down---first a classical piece and then some kind of downhome jig. It was absurd. He came to the door and asked Hope if she wanted him to play for her. She waved him away politely and then looked at me like, "WTF?" :) We smiled about that. Another funny thing was that there was all this ruckous a few doors down and people yelling and running around. And we thought that something really bad had happened, but it was just one of the patients getting out of bed when he shouldn't have. He was being obstinate. Heh.
****
This is a song I keep listening to in my car back home and it keeps playing in my head. It's from the Romeo and Juliet soundtrack (the Leo DiCaprio one). It makes me feel good. (Ironically, it's called "Everybody's Free (to Feel Good)".

Here are the lyrics:

Everybody's free to feel good x 2
Everybody's free
Brother and sister
Together we'll make it through
Some day a spirit will lift you and take you there
I know you've been hurting but I've been waiting to be there for you
And I'll be there just helping you out
Whenever I can
Ohh Ohh
Everybody's free to feel good x 2
We are a family that should stand together as one
Helping each other instead of just wasting time
Now is the moment to reach out to someone
It's all up to you
When everyone's sharing their hope
Then love will win through
Everybody's free to feel good x 2
interval
Everybody's free to feel good
(repeat till fade)

Here's the video (with R/J stuff):

Sunday Evening

Hi all. I'm sitting in Ann Marie's lovely home after spending all day today at the hospital. Let me backtrack a bit and tell you about yesterday.
So, on the flight out, I was on Southwest. The planes are very colorful, which I liked. They look like a big ole bird. There were only about twenty-five people on board, and we could seat where we liked, so I found the wing and the emergency exit side and sat there. The stewardess came and asked me if I could help people get out in the case of an emergency and showed me how, if the time came, I could pull this thing off the wall and throw it out and slide down to safety. I said sure I would, but I knew full well I'd be sliding down to safety hollering over my shoulder, "Come on y'all. This way!" That would be my helping. :)

I got a Jack and Coke to deal with flying issues.

Read Twilight, and marvelled again at the horrible teen type writing. I'm gonna just read it as a metaphor for sex, not giving in to vampire killing, just to keep it more interesting.

Landed in Orlando after a 1 hour 45 minute flight and I left the plane with just my carry on luggage. I was travelling "Amazing Race" style. No slow baggage claim for me.

Airports are probably the loneliest places in the world. Just saying.

After a bit of confusion, got a shuttle bus to take me straight to the hospital. An angel figure was hanging on the rear view mirror and swung back and forth the whole way. My shuttle bus was driven by a woman in her forties with curly blond hair. There were three girls in their twenties in the shuttle bus with us (New Yorkers) and they were all excitedly talking about their cruise they were about to take. I was sitting closer to the driver and she talked my ear off and asked me why I was in town. I told her and I think I was the Debbie Downer of the trip. I think those 20something party girls were glad when I climbed off the bus with my crap.

I followed Ann Marie's directions to fourth floor, room four and knocked. I came in and Hope was sitting up. We hugged for a long time. Jake left us so we could talk for a while. I asked her questions and she wrote down the answers, then stared at me with those big beautiful blue eyes. I brought my junior high scrapbook with our pics in them and we looked through them and made comments. I told her what I knew about some of the people in the pictures, etc. Then we read through some old letters she had written me during the late 80s and in high school and college. We had to hide some of them. "You would rather no one saw this one, right?" I joked. And she nodded, smiling a little. I stuffed that one back in my bag. We kept it light conversation for a while, then it dipped into serious stuff, her writing down stuff that made me sad and I could only hug her in response. She wrote down some stuff she wanted me to take care of. I agreed. I felt really blessed that I got about 2-3 good hours with her last night because today she wasn't nearly as cheery. She slept a lot, would wake up to see who was there with her in the room and then go back to sleep. When she was up for a little bit, she watched a little bit of Celebrity Rehab and we rolled our eyes about some of the losers on the show.

Her kids showed up and that's when I kinda lost it and let her know I'd be back tomorrow morning before my flight home. She was fine with that. I didn't let the boys see me cry. Bless their hearts.

I'm so glad I came to see my friend.

Leaving on a Jet Plane

Hope has decided to stop taking the chemo and wanted to be moved to the Hospice area of the hospital and not go home. She asked for her own pajamas and got her hair washed and blown dry today. She is tired.

I'm leaving tomorrow afternoon to see her. Should touch down around 5:15 their time.

I'll be back on Monday.

Thanks, Dennis, for your offer of Skymiles, but decided to go ahead and keep it simple.

I'll update soon.

12 Pains of Christmas

One of our favorite Christmas songs.

Wed Update

I'll try not to bring you down today, but I can't promise anything.
I looked into flights to Orlando and it is simply outrageous. Not anything UNdo-able, but that's a lot of money---I thought airlines were suffering and they were throwing out a lot of discounts.
I talked to Ann Marie today (we chat at least once a day now) and she and I discussed the question of "Should I Come Down?"
It seems that Hope is experiencing a wide range of emotions, yesterday some laughter and a lot of morphine. Today a lot of tears and a lot of anger. I don't blame her a bit. Not one bit.
The feeding tube was put in today.
She finally got her hair washed by a friend/nurse and that seemed to please her.
She's having to write down everything since she can't talk. She doesn't like it when people surround her and act all cheerful. She doesn't want people's pity. Hell, she probably wouldn't like it that I'm writing updates here---but I know there are so many of you who are praying for her and need updates. And it somehow makes me feel like I'm doing something useful. Ann Marie doesn't think that it wouldn't do much good for me to come down---she'd either be knocked out or not wanting company. She said she will try to catch Hope in a good moment and ask her if she wants me to come down or not. I'll abide by that. I'm not sure what to do at all.
*****
In wildly different news (I'm trying to put a little levity into my life today), You Don't Mess with the Zohan arrived in my mailbox, courtesy of Netflix, today. Luke likes the part where he says, "Was that YOUR FEET?" I guess we'll sit down and watch it if nothing is on TV tonight.

Luke calls Christmas stockings "Santa Socks".

Luke told me he's "making better choices at school." :) I guess that means he's not wandering off from the group so much.

Jake, when mad, grabs his shirt and pulls it up, exposing his belly. It's like a "F You!"

I'm relieved that my students dropped out of the upcoming debate tournament--only five were interested anyway. One is sick and the other four found more exciting things to do, I guess. I was glad I suddenly had the weekend open for me to do holiday things with Chris and the boys. I guess we'll get our tree up this weekend, although it seems like a surreal time right now. I'm listening to Christmas music on the radio like Mariah Carey's "All I Want for Christmas is You", and I'm like, "Shut the fk up."

Tuesday

Ann Marie, I'm taking your email and using it to update here. I hope that's okay.

I know this is starting to get hard keeping everyone up to date, so really quickly I thought I'd send an email to you all through Facebook...I hope you all don't mind. Jake just called to tell me Hope had an ok night. She is having a hard time adjusting to the trach and was having some choking issues but is better now. Her oncologist is helping him line up Home Health Care and wants her to go home as soon as she is stable. I was wrong they didn't put the feeding tube in yesterday just the port and the trach and will do the feeding tube today or tomorrow. They are going to give her something like a chemo to shrink the tumors to make her more comfortable. If she reacts well to that then a type of chemo will be given to her to help slow and shrink the cancer.It seems these things are buying her some time and she can go home and have an unknown amount of time with Jake and and boys. No one will project anything concrete. Of course all your prayers and appreciated and so needed at this time, Jake asked me to update others as he's having a hard time keeping up with the phone calls. If and when I know more I'll let you all know of course. xoxoxo

***pics are from Hope's visit to me in summer of '92. We are 19.

***I am turning comments off for a while. You know how to contact me if you need to.

Monday Update

What a rainy, gray day it was yesterday. Today it was just gray and cold.

Update on Hope:

Jake, Ann Marie, and Will are all keeping me updated every few hours or so.

(Ann Marie, if I get anything wrong, correct me.)

There is a tumor in Hope's jaw. It obstructed her airway and she could barely breathe yesterday. Docs told Jake that her airway was the size of a piece of spaghetti. Hope had asked earlier not to have a trach or anything like that anymore, but they talked her into getting one so she could breathe better. They also put a port (or two?) in her.

This of course, is not Hope's first bout with cancer. You can read her story for yourself. (On lower right side of site.)

At this point, the doctors said there is nothing they can do for Hope except make her comfortable and try to get her home, where hospice will get involved. Jake is trying to keep the boys' lives as normal as possible, coming home around the time he normally would, doing dinner and bath time, etc.

She is sleeping peacefully right now and is hooked up to morphine, among other things.

As of today, the doctors are not giving a time frame.

This seems so unreal. Yesterday I wandered around Lowe's Christmas decorations in a fog.

Send Hope an email. Jake is printing them off and reading them to her. hopewise@cfl.rr.com