What I've learned and some things I like about football

Before Chris, I never watched football. Since I've been with Chris--four years now--I've learned some things...

1. Never tell your husband, “Baby, it’s JUST a football game.”
2. I never knew who Phil Fulmer, Houston Nutt, or any of the AL coaches were before Chris.
3. PAT is not something you do to a butt. It’s Point After Touchdown.
4. I like the HAIL MARY play. I’ve done lots of Hail Marys in my life, figuratively speaking.
5. I like the shotgun formation. Both the name and the actual formation.
6.I like all the stuff one can buy at a football game. Tshirts, pens, crap like that.
7. I like how certain clothing is magical. If your team doesn’t win, perhaps it’s because the dog’s collar wasn’t on, perhaps you wore the wrong shirt, or maybe you watched the game with the “wrong” people in the room.
8. I like watching people knock the crap out of people and then pile on top of them.
9. It’s like watching a war. I like the music swelling, the Imperial March, Welcome to the Jungle, or Crazy Train music as the team comes out with the smoke.
10. I like the Tigerwalk. It makes my heart pound.
11.Thanks to Meggan, I now know that football players do not wear underwear under their pants. Ew.
12. It’s like a chess game. I’m getting it now.
13. The yellow line on tv is not there in real life. Ahhh…
14. I like how the eagle flies around the stadium. Very cool.

Question:How come there aren’t any female refs?

Now, what do YOU like about football? What have YOU learned that made you go, "ahh, okay"?

PS: Charlie R, if you are reading this---I can't comment on your blog anymore and I can't email you--don't have it--so let me know what's going on--I'm still on your blogroll so I am thinking I'm still your bud! :)

Displays.

The one with the drawings was done after studying Grendel--they had to draw the "monster" they were afraid of--it could be anything. Click on it to see more. The other one is my banned books display. I had a good time with that one. (small voice) If one can have a good time with a bulletin board(/small voice)

Projects

Finally got these pics developed.
There's a student showing off her Lord of the Flies cake, then there's the clay and other materials recreations of the island. Bottom: More cakes. I need to be more specific about the cake option next year. Wasn't dazzled by too many, but they were good! :)

Sometimes I'm Even Amazed By...

my out of it-ness.

While watching a marathon of Flip This House on Sunday, I noticed that one of the people on the show had a big cellphone looking thing.
"Is that a Blueberry?" I asked Chris.
"Honey, I think you mean Blackberry." He laughed, "I think you are confusing it with 'you look like a blueberry' from Anchorman."

I felt really hip, let me tell you.

Look! It's a Baby!

Congrats to Jamie and Jason, who welcomed Andrew Michael a few weeks ago. He is lovely!

Perv Shirt

While I enjoy Pervapalooza on Dateline every time it airs, and I don't feel sympathetic at all to the morons who walk into it, I think Perverted Justice shows bad taste trying to sell this shirt.

Lullaby

Let me take a moment to tell y'all about how much I love the following "rocking to sleep" music that I listen to while I snuggle the boy in my arms and he slurps his milk and one arm is tightly around Spiderman.

May All Your Dreams Come True
Drift Away
Snuggle Up

Read the lyrics. They are so cheesy, but I love love love them.
HOWEVER...
This song makes me want to puke--Baby Love. Please. "You sound like an angel so you must have wings?" C'mon. Yeah. A baby crying at 2 am sounds just like a freakin' angel. Ha!
I got this CD in a package of shampoo and lotion when Luke was a baby. We've only been listening to it for the past few months really. I highly recommend.

From Toothpaste with Dinner.

Stuff to make. Listening to KC talk about all the cool stuff she's baking and making lately has me looking for new homey projects...see any of these that make you go, "hmmm"?

Flickr has famous people.

It's weird to see "everyday" photos from Rosie O'Donnell.

Happy First Anniversary

to Kristy and Patrick!
You guys are fantastic.

Finally, some good press.

It's like you were there!

October Luke

When Luke hits or does something he shouldn't do...he says, "I'm saucy, Mama." If he hits you or hurts you, he rubs that part of you that he just clobbered while he says it, very sincerely.
Saucy. I love it. (Have I told y'all that one before? Forgive me if I have.)


Exchange we have every day:
Cry from Luke. Foot/hand/something caught in basket/box/cabinet/whatever
"What's wrong?"
"Stuck!"
"You're not stuck."

Still doing that jump and menacing stance while yelling, "STATCH!"

Our morning routine:
Me: Time to get up, Luker.
Luke: (ignores me, turns over)
Me: Time to rise and shine.
Luke: No
Me: Face the day...
Luke: No
Me: Want some milk?
Luke: No
Me: Want to watch cartoons?
Luke: No
Me: Want a kick in the butt?
Luke: No
Later we watch Noggin until it's time to go. He turns off the tv and we head out. On the way to the car he tries numerous times to hit "Freggie" upside the head with his Spiderman ("the man" is what he calls it), then he calls for "Freo" (Theo, the other cat, who wisely avoids this morning ritual). Our drive to the daycare situation includes passing the firestation "Firetrucks, Mama!" and its flag. Then we climb the hill. "Here comes the sun, little buddy!" (He covers his eyes as the sun blinds us.) "Sun, Mama. Hurts." We also pass this old man every morning. He walks his little toy poodle that oddly enough, looks just like the old man. The old man waves at us. Never fails. It's a nice ritual.

Sneezing Panda

Have you seen this? Chris thinks it's hilarious.

Rainy Days and Mondays

always get me down.....
Damn. Yesterday was like Friday the 13th delayed. Let me start my bitch session. Skip if you hate bitch sessions. Keep reading if you want to feel delighted about your own life. I did manage to locate the blessings in the situation, so know that I can recognize them.

1. First of all, last week, the battery (or so we thought) died in my car. After a couple of days of my good pal KC coming to pick me up for work, we finally got the car working again. Right? Wrong. I was about to take Luke to the Oktoberfest Saturday morning when I felt the car acting "funny"--like the power was surging on and off. Scared me---thought maybe it would be a bad idea to turn off the ignition. Good call on my part (for once, where cars are involved). I called Chris from the road, he was standing in the driveway when I got home. "Don't turn it off, let's take it to the mechanic." Luke got in Chris's truck, I followed them (car jerking and sputtering and acting like it was gonna throw me like a horse). When we got there...the place was closed. Of course. The car promptly died. God's blessing? That it died THERE not on the road with me and Patches.
2. After this, I climbed into the truck cab with my lovely son and husband. This was no small feat. It was either that or sit in the back of the truck with the remnants of bathroom tile and concrete. No thanks.
3. That was Saturday. Sunday was uneventful. But wait...
4. Monday. Ugly tornado-like looking and feeling weather. KC is on her way to pick me up for work. Meanwhile Chris can't find his keys. We look everywhere. This is strange. Chris always puts them in the same place. We ask Luke, "Did you take Daddy's keys?"
"Huh." Which means "Yes".
"Show Momma where Daddy's keys are."
Luke leads me to his closet and starts going through the junk in there. I help. No keys.
K shows up, I ask Chris what to do. He says go on, but drop my key for MY car off at the mechanic and explain the car's problems. I can't. I would be late for work and make my co-worker late too. We would both get mean letters in our boxes and in our files. This sucks.
This really really sucks. I feel chained and like life is really really unfair. Get to work. I am supposed to do morning and afternoon duty all week. God blesses me a second time by getting another coworker offering to do it for me if I do hers in two weeks. Thank you!
State people could show up at any minute.
(They don't show up all day, by the way.)
KC lets me use her car (thank you--another blessing) to drive back to my house during my planning period to pick up my son and the very pissed husband. As I drive him to work and Luke to daycare, Chris realizes he left his lunch at home and he can't drive anywhere to get anything to eat. I remind him that he needs to lean on his coworkers/friends during times like this; that they will help him as he has helped them before. :) He nods, looking really upset. Bless his heart. He has to walk onto base as the car is not allowed on base without clearance.
5. The day continues. Ok day teaching wise but I worry about the keys for Chris's truck all day and about my car.
6. Get an email from Chris about the cost of fixing my car. Jaw droppingly bad. I'm sad.
7. My father picks me and Luke up and takes us home. (That was weird--my father picking me up from LHS...just like the old days!) Blessing.
8. Get home and Chris finds the keys. They were in the bottom of Luke's toybox. Blessing.
9. Car is ready. Blessing. Chris drives his truck to get it. Leaves truck there, I get in car when he gets back, take him back, lets him get his truck, go back home.
10. Realize I have to pick up the baby shower cake that I ordered over the weekend for the baby shower on Tuesday. I drive there. Get there. Forgot my wallet. Go back home. Come back. Go to the counter. My cake isn't there. The order wasn't put in. At this point I am tired. Tired of stuff not working like they should. Tears well up. The manager sees me. This wonderful man let me pick out a cake that was already made for no charge. I had to choose between two sheet cakes--one with black roses and one with red. I thought black roses at a baby shower would not be a good thing, so I went with red. I thanked the man many times. On my way out he said, "God bless you today."

This morning Luke and I are sick. Body aches, coughs, fever. The works. My father is taking the cake to school for me. Can you believe our luck lately?

I won't cuss or hit cha.

So I'm wasting time on a Sunday looking through my Myspace contacts and found the sweetest love song---an acoustic version of "Baby Got Back" on my old OLD friend Eric's page. Seems like only yesterday that Eric and I got into a fight over his Tonka truck. He was 6 and I was about...9. I don't know why I wanted his truck.

PS Give it a second to start playing. It's worth it.

Bring me back to...life

Last night, for Friday Night Movie Night, we watched Mary Shelley's Frankenstein for two reasons: number one---it was a scary movie and Chris likes scary movies and number two---I'm rereading the book to teach to my honors class and I had never seen this version and wanted to see if I could use it.

The guy who played Clerval, Tom Hulce, was the same guy who played the lead role in Amadeus in 85 and Kool's dad in Parenthood. Everytime he came on screen, Chris said something like, "Hydroponics. I need some money to invest in hydroponics!"

Overall I liked the movie ---I will have to fastforward or cover the screen when (very unattractive) Branagh and (queen of big hair)Bonham Carter start groping eachother on their wedding night, but I think THINK I could use it in class. It's a disturbing movie--gave me a nightmare last night--but hey, it's a disturbing book.

Aidan Quinn had a small part. When he came on the screen, my husband said, "I find Aidan Quinn completely boring. He lulls me."

I disagree. I find him hot. I found him very hot in Benny and Joon. I know. Don't say it.

Finally, at the end of our movie night, as we turned the tv off and locked up for the night, I instructed Chris, "Please, honey, when I die don't reanimate my corpse and try to make me dance a waltz."

"If I reanimated your body, I'd make sure it knew how to clean its cereal bowl out, clean up its scrapbooking mess and throw away straws. Forget waltzing."

Blah blah blahhhhh

I've been so incredibly busy lately, I feel half crazy. I put in my notice to the activities person at my school that I can't do the powder puff football game after this year. It eats up way too much time and energy. I've already stopped tutoring after school. Now all I need to do is cancel the writing club (probably won't--it isn't that time consuming) and the breakfast for seniors at the end of the year (or at least find someone else to do it.) I'm so tired--physically and emotionally. I get irked that some of the other teachers never do extra crap; it's always the minority that does the majority of the activities. Well, I'm ready to hang up my extra cap. They can find some other sucker. ;) Don't get me wrong. I enjoyed doing the powder puff football thing for the past four years, but October is my favorite month and it totally gets eaten up by this and other stuff going on.

I'm also bummed because one of the fantastic four (English teachers) is leaving. She will be missed. :(

Next week the state department is coming by to ask nit picky questions of each teacher and to bother us and you know, keep us from doing the job we are paid to do---teach. They will be asking for this and that---paperwork that keeps us too busy to do much else. We've all been stressed out about it, and even though I'm ready for them, I'm sure one of them will ask for something I've never heard of and they will overlook all the good things I've done and have ready for them. Sigh. On top of that I have duty in the morning and afternoon all next week, I'm in charge of a baby shower after school one day, practice for pp football game one night and the actual game another night. Oh, and report cards and homecoming crap.

I need a break!

Luke's good--keeps yelling, "STATCH!" I have no idea what that means. Is it a verb or a noun? What's your call?

You should have seen him perform it!

A rock song about Lord of the Flies written by a student. Enjoy.
(Click to enlarge.)

She Smells Like Trees

On this day back IN the day, The Sound and the Fury was published.
I read it for the first time in 1992, the year I stayed "at home" and went to the local college and had a great English class that was "all Faulkner/all the time." Dr. B was the bomb.

A Stupid Man Wants His Stupid Daughter Not to Have to Read...

Fahrenheit 451. Have I mentioned how much I hate ignorant people? Hate. Them.

I've Got the Freakin' Conch!

Play the Lord of the Flies game. Or go visit this site about the 1963 movie version (my fave) of the book.

What's wrong with people?

So now a man has killed the freakin' Amish? Amish children? What's wrong with our society? The overhead pic of the Amish people huddled around together breaks my heart.

Teacher Stuff

I have a conference with a parent tomorrow and I'm not feeling good about it. Just a vibe I am getting. Here are some parent/teacher conference stories and suggestions that may help you if you are a teacher. They certainly made me feel a bit better.

Oct 1, the Football Hat, and The John

So glad it's Oct 1. Not only because we'll get our teacher credit cards back to buy supplies (I'm OUT of paper entirely and of course I need that stupid overhead bulb), but because I love October. It's my absolute favorite month. So yay! October.

Casey and Meg and of course Dylan came down for the weekend. Casey and Chris worked tirelessly in the bathroom while Meg and I took the boys around town for Chic-fil-a and to shop. "Shop"=looking at stuff while the boys tugged on everything within reach. I showed Meg the wonders of Plato's Closet and The Fresh M (she was as impressed as I'd hoped---I love that place but rarely go into there to really shop because it's too far away from the house).

Sunday Luke and Dylan beat eachother up a bit (Dylan got a blockbook in the noggin and Luke received a football in the eyeball) but everybody was okay in the end. When all of us took the boys into the new, seasonal Halloween store that opened, Luke found a football helmet with the tubes on it attached so one could drink beer (which is, of course, would be put in the two cup holders on either side of the helmet. "Football hat!" I let him try it on for kicks.

Well...turns out that when we tried to leave the store, that Luke wouldn't allow us to take off the helmet o' drinking without howling. We were so glad that he was feeling better from his football in the eye injury that we were happy to pay for the "football hat" and leave the store with it on his head, his little hands on the grill, his blue eyes staring out at the world.
"Looks like he feels safe in there," Chris commented.
"Bet he is wearing it to be protected from Dylan," Meg added.
Luke continued to wear it in his carseat, in Party City, and in Sam's Club. It was odd pushing a child around with a helmet on his head, particularly a helmet with beer holders on the sides and tubing coming down. I looked like Mother of the Year. Luke just smiled or stared at people like, "What?"

While at Party City, we got the boy a Spiderman costume, as he is ALL ABOUT THE SPIDERMAN. Shrek has taken a backseat for the time being. His confidence grew when we took the football helmet off him at home and put him in the costume. He jumped higher, ran faster, and pointed at us with self assuredness. Throw in a little "grrrr" and hands up like a monster, this Spiderman was ready for action.

The bathroom is taking longer than expected. Of course! Home projects always do, but I am content because A) I know my husband has a plan, B) he has a vision, and C)we have another bathroom to use until the other one is ready to be unveiled.

Happy October y'all!